


deep inside this ancient heart (you'll always be a part of me)

by buckymyson (trashfinity)



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I just wanted some fluffy kid fic stuff, Mentions of miscarriage, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, also K2 is a grey greyhound in this, and I mean there is some for this ship, and tbh read it in a fic but I can't remember what it's called because I have read all the fics, and then this way they can be expanded on as I write, because dude that is the only thing I ever seem to write about, because they all take place in the same universe, but I'm just kind of spacing them out, but not enough, so this is half a one-shot collection and half a multi-chapter fic, you know what i'll explain it in the notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2018-09-13 11:24:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 28,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9121405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashfinity/pseuds/buckymyson
Summary: A series of one-shots about Jyn, Cassian, and their lives together when Jyn discovers she's pregnant.





	1. Feburary

**Author's Note:**

> okay so basically I wrote the first chapter because I was bored and I had phone battery to waste but the next day I went on the computer and actually made it decent. from there it just kind of went on i guess. it's all in one thing on google docs and some bits are completed but most aren't yet, but I still wanted to post this. So, basically, as I write things, this will get updated, and I will try to keep it in relative chronological order, but I make no promises. 
> 
> Also I know it's cheesy and dumb but I would sell my soul for this trope so I have to write it. 
> 
> also also sorry if it's ooc but I've only seen Rogue One twice (first time I was in awe, second time I was just waiting for it to kill me) but I don't think it's that bad. but if there's any constructive criticism please don't be afraid to comment or send me a message on my [tumblr](http://teamstevesass.tumblr.com/)
> 
> title taken from Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) by Billy Joel
> 
> disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars :'(

They're barely together when it happens. They've known each other for three years, but have only been any sort of couple for the past three months. Kids haven't even been mentioned in passing, and now they're sitting, waiting, terrified that two tiny little lines are going to ruining everything.

 

The universe really must have something against her. 

 

Jyn's sitting on the edge of his bathtub, fingers tapping the porcelain anxiously. Cassian’s leaning against the wall, seemingly casual and calm, but Jyn's known him for long enough to know that his flitting eyes and uneasy stance are his ways of showing anxiety. Right now, she wishes she didn't know him so well. Being under the impression that just maybe he wasn't so scared, if he had a better head on his shoulders than her, would calm her racing heart.

 

Buzzing fills the tense silence as her phone goes off, signalling the end of the required three minutes. Jyn reaches for her phone, but avoids the plastic stick like the plague. She can't bring herself to look at it. Not yet. She may never be ready, and another five minutes won't help, but just pretending for a minute that she isn't in this mess makes her feel slightly better. 

 

“I can't look at it,” Jyn says, turning towards Cassian, heart clenching with anxiety. 

 

“What makes you think I can?”

 

His warm eyes meet hers, and they share a look of fear. He's older than her by a few years, but Jyn can tell by the look in his eyes that Cassian isn't ready. Neither of them are. 

 

They break the gaze when Baze pounds on the door. Without a word from either of them giving permission, he barges in, Chirrut and Bodhi on his heels. Baze hesitates slightly while reaching across the counter for the test, but when Jyn stays silent, he sheds any wariness and jumps right into the middle of it all. 

 

“Jyn, what does a dash mean?” Bodhi asks, looking from the plastic stick to meet her gaze. 

 

“One line means negative, two means positive.”

 

“I think this is one and a half,” Baze says.

 

“No, it's one.”

 

“Or maybe it's two.”

 

“I am highly certain it's four,” Chirrut exclaims, grabbing the stick from Baze. “Congrats, Jyn. You're sinning has just been doubled.”

 

“Very funny, Chirrut,” Cassian replies, not sounding very amused. He rips the test out of Chirrut’s hands, and Jyn watches his face for hints, but it stays surprisingly neutral. 

 

Taking it upon herself, since it appears that no one else will take this seriously enough, Jyn steels herself for a moment before glancing at the test. It's a split-second look, meaning it's too fast for her to actually see anything. Slowly, carefully, dreadfully, she peeks over the counter like a curious child, but with more dread than curiosity. 

 

Two pink lines stare up at her, completely innocent. 

 

Like a baby staring up at her with doe eyes, wide and curious and sweet. 

 

But this isn’t sweet. It’s terrible and horrible and how can anyone like her be a mother? How can she be responsible for someone’s entire life? She’s too cut off, only knows how to care for herself. For fucks sake, it took three years before she could even think about opening herself up to Cassian through a relationship because she was terrified of hurting him. 

 

Yet, she’s only been honest with him this entire time, and the many opportunities for him to be hurt only made them grow closer.

 

Maybe she can have a child. Thinking about it, she already feels a connection to this jumble of cells in her womb, like an unbreakable string is tying them together.

 

But a kid isn’t like a relationship. She and Cassian understand each other, what they need separately and together, know when to press and when to back off. They understand each other’s boundaries. 

 

Babies don’t respect boundaries; they smash them with a sledgehammer. They need constant attention - which isn’t something Jyn is sure she can give in the first place. Always crying, always hungry, always dirty, always fussy. Never quiet or calm or independent. 

 

Always dependent on its parents.

 

“Jyn?” 

 

Cassian’s voice pulls her from her thoughts, and she looks up to seem him standing over her, concerned frown pulling at his lips. Lingering in the background are the rest of their friends, keeping their distance as to not crowd her. Even K2’s there now, the silver greyhound nudging her leg with his head, which is how she knows it’s bad. K2 has never particularly liked her, although she assumes that since she makes his master happy, he puts up with her. This, though, a showing of actual affection from the dog, is rarer than how Bodhi takes his steak (which, for reference, is pretty damn rare).

 

“Wh - what?”

 

She takes in her surroundings; her back is against the bathtub, legs curled into her chest. The cursed plastic test is crushed into pieces on the tile beside her, except the few shards embedded in her palm. 

 

“It’s alright,” Cassian soothes, rubbing a warm hand up and down her arm. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

 

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until he wipes a tear away.

 

Silently, everyone else files out of the bathroom, leaving Jyn, Cassian, and K2 in peace. The quiet falls over them like a blanket, warm and comforting yet tight and suffocating. It rings in her ears as Cassian slowly picks out the shards of plastic, pressing a kiss to each cut as he goes. 

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks when he finishes wrapping her hand, placing one final kiss over the gauze.

 

Jyn takes a shaky breath. “I don’t know what to do,” she admits. “I was an only child, and the youngest person by twenty years at Saw’s. I don’t - I don’t know how to be a mother, and I - I’m terrified.”

 

“It’s okay,” he whispers, moving until he’s in the right position to wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her close. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want. There are options.”

 

“I want it, Cass. It’s insanely stupid, because how the fuck can someone like me be a mother? But I - there’s a connection already, I can feel it deep inside, and I can’t - I won’t. I know it sounds dumb, but it’s the truth.”

 

Cassian nods. “It’s not dumb, Jyn. If you want this, I’ll be there. We’ll both be terrible parents together.”

 

She doesn’t bring up how she’s seen him with Poe, how good he is at keeping the infant calm and happy, how he managed to quiet the baby when not even his parents could, how his eyes light up when Poe giggles and claps at whatever silly face he makes. She knows he’ll only deny it, claim it’s because Poe isn’t his so it’s different. Jyn’s too tired for that conversation, and isn’t sure she’ll ever find the strength for it. 

 

Instead, she twists around until her lips are mere inches away from his, displacing K2 while she’s at it. 

 

“We’re going to fuck up a lot,” she says.

 

“All parents do. But it will be alright, because we’ll love our child, and in the end, that’s what they need more than anything.”

 

And somehow, those are the words that comfort her most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, the titles are the months (obviously) and it's a rough time estimate for the story, and unless otherwise specified, the chapters will most likely take place around the middle of whatever month the chapter title says, as I have made Jyn's due date somewhere in the middle of September
> 
> oh and the whole "sinning" comment by Chirrut is just cuz in the movie he's very spirtual and I know that the Force is the basis of a religion in SW so in this universe he's religious but not one of those Christians who thinks Pokemon are evil, and kind of like his blindness, he likes to joke about this (and on that note if I ever make a joke that you think goes a little overboard, please tell me! I myself am not religious so I'm not always sure where the line should be drawn)
> 
> (EDIT: I'd mentioned Christians who think dinosaurs are evil, but I meant Pokemon, and so the change has been made, because no one thinks dinosaurs are evil. Some people just don't believe they existed. And this note wasn't necessary but I added it because - I don't know why, I just like explaining things I guess)


	2. Early March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn tells her father the news!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy almost new year everyone! There's still 10 and a half hours left of 2016 for me, but I'm staying at a friend's house overnight so I'm posting this now. This will also be my last update of the year, and my last one for a few days because I start school again in three days, and I'm busy Monday, and I need to work on quite a few ideas I've already started. Fear not, though, because I have plenty of ideas in my head, and as soon as I can find the time, I will be sure to finish as many chapters as possible. Depending on my inspiration levels, I expect to post somewhere between every three days and every two weeks. Sporadic, I know, but life is busy and sometimes my muse likes to hide for a while. Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter after reading this gigantic note, and I hope everyone has a good rest-of-2016 or start-of-2017!

“Not that I don't enjoy lunch with my only daughter,” Galen Erso starts after the waiter disappears with their drink orders, “but what's the occasion?”

 

Jyn doesn't see her father as often as she’d like, and when she does, there is usually a reason attached to it. Today, that reason is sharing the news with him, which is more terrifying than finding out for herself. Galen wants what's best for Jyn, and she's not sure if he'll accept a pregnancy with her boyfriend of few months into that category. 

 

“I have some news,” she says simply. No hints or clues. Her favorite thing to do is see how long her genius father stays clueless to simple things. 

 

He eyes her suspiciously. “Will I like the news?”

 

“I'm not sure.” It's the truth - she really isn't sure how he'll take this. 

 

“Will you tell me the news?”

 

She shakes her head. “Not yet.” Not until Cassian gets here. For his support, and to kill two birds with one stone; the baby and her relationship with the baby's father. 

 

“Not even a hint?”

 

“No, papa.”

 

He must realize that Jyn won't give anything up until she wants to, so he changes the subject. They're talking about the newest James Cameron movie when Cassian arrives, taking the empty seat beside Jyn. 

 

“Is this the news?” Galen asks, motioning to Cassian's arm around Jyn's shoulder. 

 

“Part of it,” Jyn admits.

 

The waiter comes back with their drinks and takes down their food orders, and Jyn startles everyone by ordering a large plate of pasta. 

 

“What?” she asks innocently. “I skipped breakfast!”

 

Cassian smirks, knowing full well she devoured two omelettes, five slices of bacon, and three pancakes only three hours earlier. Of course Galen sees this, but Jyn knows he's taking it as whatever dirty activities they got up to that morning, not her pregnancy. She knows this because now her father is glaring at Cassian, not unsubtly staring at her stomach. This is why Cassian's the one who works for the FBI, not her father. 

 

“Where is our food?” her father asks, searching the dining room for their waiter. “I'll be a grandfather before I get my meal!”

 

Jyn smiles. “Well, that may be sooner than you think.” 

 

He furrows his brow, frowning. “Are you serious? This isn't something you should joke about, Jyn.”

 

“I promise this isn't a joke. In six months, give or take, you will be the proud new owner of a grandkid.”

 

“Oh, stardust.”

 

Her father's frown grows into a grin as he shoves his chair back to embrace his daughter. Jyn returns the hug happily, no longer scared of her father's reaction. Knowing he supports her is a huge weight off her shoulders, and she hasn't seen him this happy in a while. It's nice. 

 

“You better not break my little girl's heart, or I will track you down,” he threatens, pointing a finger in Cassian's.face. 

 

“I promise, sir, I will give myself up to you if that ever happens.”

 

Her father seems to accept that, and soon, he and Cassian are chatting like old friends. 

 

It's nice, Jyn thinks, as she watches them connect over everything from the FIFA World Cup to some random side characters on a show they both watch. It's really very nice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the current word count for the first two chapters is 1776 and the hamilton part of my heart is screaming)


	3. Middle of March pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn heads to her family reunion, ft. a cousin who doesn't know how to shut up, a bigoted great aunt, a changed grandmother, and a slim few family members she can tolerate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so first of all happy 2017! I would've posted this sooner but I wanted to finish this entire chapter. However, last night right before I fell asleep, I decided to just post it in two parts so I can put out an update without having to rush to finish everything.
> 
> also I know both Galen and Lyra are only children in canon, but I had this idea before I checked, so I took a few creative liberties. I mean, this is already a fanfiction in the modern world instead of their galaxy, so I think I'm allowed to do this.
> 
> also also there are a few OCs but they're not developped, are very 2-dimensional, and will probably never be mentioned ever again. so.
> 
> also also also I messed up a bit with the timeline so now chapter 2 takes place in the beginning of march, near the end of her first trimester, and this takes place in the middle, at the start of her second trimester, hence the chapter names that are more complex than just the month.
> 
> anyways I hope to have part 2 up by either tonight or tomorrow. hope you enjoy!

In all the pregnancy books she’s read (thanks to Cassian, who went out and bought half of their local bookstore’s supply), it says that typically, women start to show at the beginning of their second trimester, but it’s different for every person.

 

What they fail to mention is how the shorter one is, the sooner they’ll look like they have a basketball stuffed up their shirt. At five-foot-two, Jyn was buying maternity pants at six weeks, and is unmistakably pregnant at the beginning of her second trimester. This makes it difficult to keep hidden, and all of her plans had hinged on no one knowing early.

 

Mostly, this just meant hiding it from her extended family for as long as humanly possible.

 

Her mother’s family had wanted more for Lyra than settling down at twenty-two with a husband nine years her senior, so Jyn’s relationship with that side of her family has always been difficult, to say the least. But some of her aunts, uncles, and cousins are nice, and her grandparents do care for her, somewhere deep down, so she hasn’t completely cut them off yet. And with the passing of her mother so many years ago, it’s nice being connected to people who were just as close to her as Jyn.

 

It’s for this reason that Jyn had accepted an invitation to a family reunion. Especially now that her family’s expanding, she doesn’t want to miss it. She wants to give her child the opportunity to meet their family, and that can only happen if Jyn stays close to them.

 

Except, she doesn’t really want them to know just yet, hence the idea to hide it. There isn’t a big reason why, just that she hates being the centre of attention and that’s exactly what her pregnancy will make her at the reunion.

 

But it’s too late to use an excuse, because the plane tickets have already been booked, and she knows her grandparents will interrogate her if anything seems off.

 

And so, on a rainy Friday afternoon in the middle of March, Jyn and Cassian fly to Colorado for a weekend of fun and torture in the mountains.

 

She just hopes to hell there’s good reception there.

  


* * *

 

 

 

Sienna, a woman of around the same age, height, and build as Jyn but with honey blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes and a tan, meets Jyn and Cassian at the baggage claim once they land. From California, Sienna is the epitome of a valley girl, and instantly, Jyn hates her. Luckily, she’s a second cousin and not quite as important to Jyn.

 

Sienna’s one saving grace is that she can get them up to the cabin safe and sound. (That's it. That's the only thing Jyn likes about her.)

 

One thing Jyn really doesn't like about Sienna is her unfailing ability to fill every silence with small talk. Jyn and Cassian both have times where all they want is to sit and be quiet. It's why they get along so well. Sienna, however is not like that.

 

According to Google maps, they're twenty minutes out from the cabin, and Jyn falsely hopes that her cousin will just _shut up_ for the rest of the car ride. Of course, the universe laughs in Jyn's face by letting Sienna gab without stopping.

 

“So how long have you two been together?”

 

“Five months,” Jyn answers shortly, praying for what feels like the millionth time that Sienna will take the hint.

 

She doesn't.

 

“That's lovely. My boyfriend and I have been back together for two months, but we've been on and off since high school! We were going to get married two years ago, but he cheated on me, so we broke it off. But he begged for me back a month later, and I just had to forgive him, and we were together for a year. But he cheated on me again, and we were broken up for ten months this time. But we're all good now, and I think we might even be getting married soon! So you think you'll get married anytime soon, Jyn?”

 

“Not yet,” she bites out, restraining herself against stabbing Sienna in the chest. “I mean, we've only been together for a few months.” For fuck’s sake, they haven't even said “I love you” yet. Them having a child together will _not_ fast-forward their relationship. Jyn refuses to let it.

 

“Well, it's good to take your time. Some people rush down the aisle, especially people like you, but babies should never push a relationship ahead. If I'd let Barry - that's my boyfriend - take me down the aisle before we had our son, I'd be divorced twice over by now.”

 

Jyn blanches. How does she know? Jyn had purposefully held her big tote in front of her stomach the entire time to hide it. She’d made sure to take the spot in the back right so Sienna couldn't see anything through the rearview mirror. And her shirt was baggy enough to hide it if she sat down.

 

“So when are you due?”

 

Jyn gapes slightly, still surprised. Is she really so big not even a loose shirt can hide it? She tries to figure it out, but then remembers she was asked a question, and instead of looking weird, Jyn answers, “September 15th.”

 

“Oh, so you must be in your second trimester by now? How does it feel? It was like a damn honeymoon for me! All the benefits with none of the symptoms!”

 

Jyn smiles tightly. Whatever honeymoon phase there may or may not be has yet to make itself known. Probably because she’s barely into her second trimester. “Haven’t noticed a difference yet.”

 

As Sienna gabs on and on _and on_ , Jyn shares a “can you believe this” look with Cassian, who in turn simply shrugs, and then goes back to staring out the window.

 

Of course he’s no help. When does the universe ever grace her with what she needs in any given moment, like Cassian’s help or a magic machine that will keep Sienna from talking _ever again_?

 

The only thing the universe graces her with is a small sliver of patience that lasts until they pull up to the cabin, and then everything falls apart and Jyn is running inside with her bag, leaving Cassian and Sienna in the dust. Even being judged by some snooty step-cousins twice removed is better than one more minute spent with the chatty Cathy that is her second cousin.

 

Or, Jyn thinks it will be until she actually steps inside the giant log cabin and comes face to face with her judgemental great aunt Marjorie with a disapproving scowl that has become a permanent feature etched onto her wrinkly prune-like face. (And that’s coming straight from Jyn’s grandmother, who herself is not always the most welcoming or accepting.)

 

Marjorie tsk-tsks as Jyn stumbles on the carpet up to her great aunt’s feet. “And what has you in such a rush today, Miss Erso?” she asks in her posh British accent, pearl bracelet clicking as she shakes her finger.

 

“Sorry, Aunt Marjorie. It was a long car ride, and I had a few too many cups of tea before we left,” Jyn apologizes, not meaning a single word.

 

“Well, you should know by now that proper ladies do not run in the house,” Marjorie scolds, sounding every bit like the evil headmistress of a proper British boarding school from the 1800s Jyn believes she truly is. No one this malevolent could have been born later than 1850. “Now, go take care of your . . . business.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

With a snide and unimpressed glare, off the wicked witch goes, strutting down the hall and into a room that Jyn assumes is her evil lair.

 

Cassian approaches as soon as Marjorie’s out of earshot, which is either a wonderful coincidence or perfect planning on his part. “Who was that?”

 

Jyn huffs. “My great aunt Marjorie, the worst of them all. She’s old as fuck and just as sexist, believing all women should be “proper young ladies” whose only goal is to find a husband who will provide for her and their bounty of kids. My grandparents were horrible to my mum when she married my dad, but Marjorie was even worse, and I just know she has a vendetta against me. Because if debts can be passed down through families, why not grudges?”

 

“So she isn’t one we should share the news with,” Cassian guesses, to which Jyn nods her head. “Good to know. I will be sure to stay out of her way, then.”

 

“Better put in double the effort. She’s also been known to be highly racist.”

 

“Well, then we better hope our room is somewhere very far away.” After a pause, he adds, “It will make sex a lot easier.”

 

“Much less shameful walk to the bathroom,” Jyn agrees.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As it turns out, their room is on the opposite side of the eight-bedroom cabin from all of the old folks and with all the cousins she actually likes. In their hall of four bedrooms, Jyn’s thirty-something cousin Elaine and her wife Sam have the room next to them, with Elaine’s brother, James, in the room across the hall, and another cousin, Ian, with his wife, in the last room. Even better, all the kids are being forced onto pull-out couches, futons, and air mattresses in the not-so-spacious loft, and everyone older than fifty is in the other set of rooms.

 

(Don't get her wrong; she does like kids. She wouldn't be having one if she didn't. But in a few months, she and Cassian will have their own noise machine, and any space they can get that's away from a human that only ever seems to yell and squeal is a blessing.)

 

The room itself is simple; dark hardwood flooring with a large rug covering almost the entire area, and the same log walls as everywhere else. A queen bed resides in the middle, a simple burgundy duvet matching the accents around the room. There’s a dresser, hand-carved, and two nightstands either side of the bed, also hand-carved. The lone window looks out across the ten-acre yard to the snow-capped mountains rising high above them.

 

Jyn can already imagine having a house with a yard even half this size, running around with their child in the snow, making snowmen and sledding down the large slope fencing in the property. Sipping hot chocolate around the blazing fire, laughing as Cassian regales their child with wonderous stories of far-off lands with castles and dragons and knights who save the day against evil empires.

 

She knows that’s a perfect dream, and life is seldom perfect. But anything half that amazing is all Jyn can ever ask for, and that’s what really cements her decision to go through with this. Half a day that’s half as perfect as her dream will make every single regret obsolete. Just like how ten minutes of quiet with Cassian makes ten days of shit worth every agonizing second.

 

“Are you alright?” Cassian asks, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

 

“I’m just fine.” She pauses, unsure about continuing, but her mouth speaks before her mind can catch up. “I love you.”

 

For a split second, Cassian's a deer caught in the headlights, but it's soon replaced with a sincere look. “I love you too.”

 

Just for a minute, Jyn thinks that maybe she can get through this. She could tackle the whole damn world so long as the man she loves is by her side.

 

Too bad the world doesn't include her family reunion.


	4. Middle of March pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the second half of the family reunion, where some people find out and there's a face off between two unexpected people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait. I planned on posting this four days ago, on the tenth, but life got busy and whenever I even had time to write, it just got all choppy and bad and I only want to post my best. Still not super proud of this, but I just finished it and I really want to post it and get it over and done with. The next one should be up sometime before February, but I can't promise an exact date as I have exams to study for and the next chapter is only partially written.
> 
> Also thanks for all the comments (and kudos), and sorry I haven't replied to them, but do know that they mean a lot to me and I love every single one.
> 
> Now, without further adieu, here's part two of the family reunion.

Since they arrived after dinner on Friday, Jyn and Cassian were given the go-ahead to reap the fridge of its leftovers and eat wherever they pleased.

 

“No formalities required tonight,” her aunt Clara had insisted. “You can even play some poker with us, if you’d like. No one there’s going to say anything.”

 

So that’s how Jyn finds herself sitting between Cassian and her aunt, a large helping of lasagna on her plate as she tries her hardest to out-bluff her boyfriend. (He has a scarily good bluffing face, even for someone in the FBI. It's quite intimidating.)

 

“Feeling a little peckish?” her uncle Jim teases with a chuckle. 

 

“Starving,” Jyn answers, mouth half-full of food. “I feel like I haven’t eaten all day.”

 

“You had a sandwich at the airport two hours ago, and one before we boarded, and two bagels for breakfast. Plus, you had a full meal on the plan, and were snacking on the way here. Believe me, you’ve eaten,” Cassian points out, voice taking a slight tone of disbelief, like he can’t actually believe she’s eaten as much as she has. He's only teasing, though, because Jyn's eaten like this plenty of times in the past. 

 

Her aunt chuckles. “I can’t remember the last time I ate that much. Must’ve been when I was - pregnant with James. A family trait, that is.” Clara trails off at the end, and Jyn realizes a little too late that she’s royally screwed now.

 

Luckily, Jyn knows when to admit defeat, and there’s no hope in arguing against her aunt. Despite it being the fourth time they’ve ever been in each other’s presence, Jyn learned early on that arguing against Clara is a terrible idea. Quite like bluffing against Cassian. 

 

Jyn gulps, a little nervous, a little excited. “I was hoping to find a more elegant way to tell everyone, but yes, I’m pregnant.” She can't help the grin that appears on her face when she announces this, and neither can Cassian. The whole table - that consists of her Uncles Jim and Brian, her Aunt Clara, and her cousins James and Leo - cheer, offering up their congratulations and some words of advice. 

 

Jyn has never felt more apart of a family. 

 

“What's going on here?” Margaret, Jyn's grandmother demands, although she sounds too much like a sweet old lady to truly be menacing. 

 

“Oh, we were just -” Clara starts, easily guessing how much Jyn does  _ not _ want her grandmother knowing just yet. But Jyn truly feels happy for the first time in a while, and she can't keep the secret held in any longer. 

 

So she holds her head up high, and declares confidently, “I'm pregnant.”

 

In a surprising twist, her grandmother physically jumps, clapping her hands and cheering just as loudly as the other members of the family. “Oh, Jyn, this is great news! I'm so happy for you!” 

 

And just because she can, Jyn kills two birds with one stone. “Grandma, you do realize that Cassian and I aren't married, right? And I'm not sure we're going to be for a little while.”

 

Her grandma waves her hand dismissively. “Oh, who needs to get married to have a child. I know I seem like a crotchety old lady, but it hurt me, knowing that my sweet Lyra had a child I would never get to know. And now that we've met, I've realized that proper rules be damned, so long as I have my family in my life.”

 

That’s - probably one of the sweetest things she’s ever heard. 

 

“Your grandfather might not have the same mindset as me, though,” her grandmother warns, “so be wary. And Aunt Marjorie will have some very unpleasant opinions as well, the old bat.”

 

“Well, I have some unpleasant opinions about her, so I’m sure it will all balance out,” Jyn jokes, although this time, she does mean every word.

 

Reaching out with one arm, her grandma pulls Jyn into a side hug. “I do feel terrible about how we treated your mum. But the past is the past, and maybe, if we hadn’t pushed your mother away, we never would have gotten you.”

 

Taken aback by the out-of-character display of affection from her usually stone-faced (British) grandmother, Jyn gapes at the contact, but soon finds herself relishing in the touch. “Oh, grandma.” 

 

Someone - most likely her Uncle Brian trying to be funny - exclaims “group hug!” and nearly bowls Jyn and her grandmother over when they jump into the embrace. From there, Cassian snags the spot closest to Jyn - which is very possesive (and sexy) of him - as everyone else finds open slots around. A few older kids - although she believes the oldest of the four is seventeen so they aren’t really  _ kids  _ per se - decide to hop onto the group hug train as well, and the ruckus they stir up rouses the other kids. (Thankfully, Aunt Marjorie stays where she is in her witch’s lair, leaving them to be happy in peace.)

 

All Jyn can think about as she gets squished closer and closer with everyone is how happy she is. Her family loves her, her friends love her, her father loves her, Cassian loves her, and most importantly, she loves them all back.

 

Except for Aunt Marjorie. She’s just a bitch, and there’s no changing that. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next day, it feels like her bump has grown ever bigger. Even if she wanted to hide it, none of her shirts quite cover it the way she wants. Most people already know now though, so Jyn shrugs, pulls on black v-neck and some low waisted jeans, and drags Cassian down to the kitchen.

 

Aunt Clara is already down there, watching the bacon sizzle in the pan as her cousin, James, cooks a large number of pancakes on the griddle. It's no French delicacy, but Jyn's drooling over it nonetheless. 

 

“You're just in time,” James says, flipping four pancakes onto a plate. “The hooligans will be down in a few minutes, so eat up while it's still hot.”

 

Greedily, Jyn takes a plate and loads it up with as many pancakes, slices of bacon, and pieces fresh fruit she can fit. Cassian follows closely behind, plate filled just as high, half of which is for Jyn. (She eats a lot. It's a side effect of pregnancy.)

 

“Guess it's no secret now,” Aunt Clara comments, looking between Jyn, her bulging stomach, and the heap of food she's shovelling into her mouth. 

 

Jyn shrugs and swallows the mouthful of pancakes she was chomping on, spinning the barstool as she eats. “Well, I can't help if I'm hungry and this-” she motions to her bump “-doubled in size overnight, so there wasn't much choice.”

 

“I’m glad we get to tell people now,” Cassian adds, goofy smile gracing his face. He really seems to be excited about everything, Jyn notes. It’s endearing. “I’m not very good at keeping secrets.”

 

“You’re in the FBI,” Jyn points out, waving her fork at him.

 

“Yes, and I do my job well, but this is special. I don’t want it to be kept a secret.”

 

Jyn rolls her eyes. “I’m dating a man sappier than a maple tree.”

 

“No backing out now.”

 

She smiles softly in his direction. “I don’t plan on it.”

 

Their sweet moment is shattered by the pounding of feet against the stairs and the screeching of excited three to ten year olds. 

 

“I don’t care how many kids you want, we are only ever having two at the most,” Jyn tells Cassian quickly, before she can be drowned out by the screams of “pancakes!”. She does want this baby, and maybe even another, but anything more than two is stressful and terrifying, and three is on its way to becoming a hoard, and that isn’t something she wants to deal with. (How her Uncle Henry and Aunt Mackenzie used to deal with five kids is something she’ll never know.)

 

Right behind the kids is everyone else that stayed overnight. The only ones missing are Aunt Marjorie, her Uncle Henry and Aunt Mackenzie plus their kids, and her grandparents.

 

“Hello, Jyn,” her uncle Logan greets. Tall and lean, with soft blond hair and a clean-shaven face, Uncle Logan doesn’t look very threatening, but Jyn knows that one wrong move and Cassian’s chopped into pieces and wrapped up in a carpet at the bottom of the pacific. He’s also a little exuberant, an acquired taste of sorts, so Jyn is a little more scared for Cassian than she normally would be. It’s not hard to get on Logan’s bad side. “It’s nice to see you again. And who is this?”

 

“Oh, I’m Cassian. Jyn’s boyfriend.”

 

“How’d that happen? You knock her up or something?” Her uncle Logan may or may not also be slightly rude and blunt at times, and often jokes about things that are insulting to everyone. 

 

He also happens to be right, some of those times.

 

Two can play the honesty game, Jyn decides, so she answers, “As a matter of fact, he did. Although we were together at the time, so don’t think he’s just doing the honorable thing like you did.” It’s the truth, but Jyn means it as a joke, and knows her Uncle will take it as one. The only way to earn his respect is to keep up with his level of humor.

 

In his true fashion, Uncle Logan heaves a heavy laugh and grasps Jyn’s shoulder to keep himself balanced. His fit of laughter inspires Jyn to follow suit, and it ends with the two of them clutching their stomachs from laughing so hard. It grabs some attention, but most people ignore them, already used to the loud and raucous noises that go along with gigantic family gatherings.

 

“Good luck with that,” he finally says to Cassian after they’ve calmed down. 

 

“Jyn or the baby?”

 

“Jyn for sure. I’ve gotten into more trouble in the three times I’ve been in the same room as Jyn than I have being a father for twelve years.”

 

Cassian nods. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

And then Logan’s gone, off to bug James and Ian by pretending to confuse them with each other like he does every time he sees the twins. 

 

“He’s,” Cassian starts, gesturing with his hand as he fails to find the right word to describe her uncle.

 

“A little much,” Jyn supplies, “but we all love him anyways.”

 

The rest of their interactions with her family go the same way; they’re introduced to Cassian, crack a joke about Jyn being pregnant, and then leave after being reaffirmed that the two are together for the sake of being together, not just because he’s the baby daddy.

 

They’re all surprisingly accepting, which is reassuring. But Jyn has yet to run into Aunt Marjorie, so her good day can turn to shit far too easily still. 

 

Oh the joys of having terrible family members.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The rest of the day passes uneventfully, filled with catching up with her family and eating all the food she can find. 

 

Jyn, Cassian, and her cousins of legal voting age are in the kitchen, eating and laughing as everyone except Jyn gradually gets drunker, thanks to the bottle of whiskey Jessica bribed from her absent father. (“He thinks buying my love will work,” she had said with a shake of her head, “and I don’t have the heart to tell him to fuck off because how else will I get my booze?”)

 

“So how long were you two together before this happened?” Ian asked, motioning to Jyn’s bump with a sauce-covered finger. (Someone ordered wings from the local pizza place, and they never made it past Ian’s arms.) “And don’t give us some bullshit ‘oh we’ve been friends forever’ excuse. I want the truth.” 

 

Apparently Ian is an honest drunk, as his bluntness is unusually out of character. Jyn finds it refreshing.

 

“Three months,” Cassian answers. “We had known each other for two years before that, but our first date was three months before we found out.”

 

“Marriage isn’t on the table then,” Jessica says. It’s not a question.

 

Jyn shakes her head. “Not yet, at least. I’m not going to get married just because it makes my child a bastard or something. I don’t care how quote unquote sinful I am because of it.”

 

A table knife clatters onto the tile floor. The kitchen goes silent. Looking towards the source of the sound, Jyn grows pale. Aunt Marjorie is standing besides the stove, having slipped in without anyone’s notice. 

 

“Jyn Lianna Erso!” Aunt Marjorie shrieks, obviously quite upset judging by her flustered face. “You are a very unbecoming young lady and I refuse to let you and your sin stink up this house! Leave at once!”

 

Jyn sighs, ready with a witty retort to make the old bat explode with shock, when someone else steals her thunder.

 

“Oh, hush up, you hideous beast,” a deep voice thunders. Like watching a tennis match, everyone’s heads turn to see the man standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “I don’t care how sinful the Bible may say it is, the only thing here that belongs in Hell is your disturbing personality that goes along with your unsightly face. Jyn and her supposedly sinful  _ unborn  _ child belong in this family more than you ever have and ever will. Every single one of us is behind her, no matter what, so you have no legs to stand on. We Martin’s will  _ not  _ tolerate this blatant bullying under any roof. Now pack your things and leave, because you will never be part of this family again.”

 

Taking what’s left of her dignity, Marjorie exits the room with her head down and metaphorical tail between her legs. No one moves until they hear her bedroom door shut, and then it devolves into chaos. 

 

“What was that?” Jyn’s grandmother questions, stepping cautiously into the connected dining room. “I heard shouting.”

 

“Oh, Grandad just gave ol’ Marjorie a talking-to after she told Jyn to leave,” Elaine explains, smiling proudly. 

 

With a scoff, James adds, “Like she even has the authority to do that. She’s not paying a single cent for this!”

 

Margaret nods, seemingly satisfied. “Well, good riddance. We’ve been trying to get that old bat to leave for years now, but your grandfather refused. “She’s family,” he’d say. Family means squat if they’re not good people though, and Marjorie is one of the worst. Glad to see he’s finally gotten his head outta his arse!”

 

“She’s the only thing left of my home now, Margaret,” Francis, Jyn’s grandfather, says, now slightly sullen. “But now that I have forgiven myself for our treatment of Lyra, I can see how truly horrible Marjorie was towards her, and I can’t ever forgive that. I’d sooner forsake my entire life than have any one of my daughters or granddaughters be treated that way again.”

 

“You don’t have to explain yourself, dear,” Margaret replies. “All has been forgiven.”

 

“Not quite.” He looks toward Jyn. “I hope you can forgive me, my dear, for all of the terrible ways we treated your mother and you. No one deserves that, least of all family.”

 

Jyn smiles happily, tears pricking her eyes. Damn hormones. “This won’t fix everything, but it’s a very good start.”

 

And so, after a few too many rounds of hugs and apologies and tears, they all go back to having a grand old time together, as a family.

 

And Jyn wouldn’t want it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also if there are any contradictions please don't hesitate to tell me this part was written over a few days and I can't keep track of everything I say. 
> 
> And once again, sorry for the delay and my not-greatest chapter, but I still hope you enjoyed it!


	5. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian go to the OB/GYN's and get told some stuff! Also an important question is asked . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this, two updates in a day after I thought it would take two weeks for another? It's mostly because I thought this chapter needed more editing than it actually did, and when I started writing some more it just kinda flowed onto the page. Except the end, but I'm still pretty proud of it. I was gonna have the end happen a little later, but I decided to throw it in now for extra fluff because this is completely self-indulgent.
> 
> Anyways, next update now won't be for a little bit, because I only have an idea for the next chapter. (But I do know what needs to happen, so it's more of a case of finding inspiration and actually writing.) Plus exams. Gotta study for those. Hope you enjoy this and I'll see y'all anywhere from in three days to three weeks time!

Jyn hates hospitals. Always has, always will. It was where she watched her mother die after getting shot by some asshole trying to rob a convenience store. The antiseptic smell gives her headaches. The lights are too harsh. The walls are too white. Seeing nurses and doctors whizzing past with a crash cart make her heart hurt, because she knows how little it actually works. Hospitals are showcased as places of healing, but are haunted by death.

 

But today is different. The waiting room for the OB/GYN is clean without being sterile, meaning it doesn't have that damn hospital smell. The lights are softer, more natural. Instead of the typical white, the walls are a soft pink (which is a little sexist because why is pink  _ always _ associated with women?). The only people here are happy pregnant people and laughing young kids. 

 

It's a happy place to be. 

 

The happy feeling is rubbing off on Jyn, because she actually finds herself  _ smiling _ when a little girl giggles so hard he falls down. Kids never used to make her smile like this. 

 

Maybe it's just her pregnancy getting her to see that all this trouble is worth it. 

 

She starts to imagine a little girl that's the perfect mix of her and Cassian doing the same thing, and keeps imagining the same girl - her daughter - walking, talking, laughing, playing. Her eyes flick over a few feet to where a boy, around the same age as the girl, is playing with blocks, and then Jyn's imagining their son. Some people claim to know the sex of their child without even getting an ultrasound, but Jyn isn't one. But she finds herself wanting to know. 

 

“Do you want to find out the sex?” she asks Cassian quietly, leaning close and lowering her voice to keep their conversation private. 

 

“We can, if you want. I don't mind either way, so long as they're healthy.”

 

Jyn smacks his arm lightly. “Don't start being a sap. I'm the only sappy one allowed.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

“I mean that, Cassian. No sappiness from you. At all.”

 

Before he can respond, a nurse calls them in. With short blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a perky smile, the nurse perfectly fits her name of “Sonny”. It's a little scary how accurate it is. 

 

Sonny directs Jyn to the exam table with the instructions to roll her shirt up to her breasts, and then leaves with the promise to be “back in a slice”. 

 

Jyn starts talking about the nurse being far too perky, but Cassian’s too busy staring at her bump intently. If it were anyone else, Jyn would’ve socked them in the nose already, but this is Cassian, and it makes it sweet and endearing.

 

“That’s our child,” he murmurs, turning from the bump to meet Jyn’s eyes, his own filled with wonder. “It didn’t seem real until now, but we’re having a baby.”

 

Jyn fights the sarcastic answer she has ready for one a little less blunt. “I know what you mean. It’s like before, people could only believe our word, but now we have proof.”

 

Cassian nods. “But it makes it scarier,” he adds. “Knowing that we’re going to be responsible for someone who can’t care for themselves. Seeing the proof of it.”

 

They’ve talked about this a lot; their fears and doubts, how terrified they are of fucking up their child’s life. But they always go back to being there for each other, and doing it together, and it makes the doubts slowly fade away. They’re not gone yet, but they’re going, bit by bit, day by day.

 

She squeezes Cassian’s hand comfortingly. “Yeah, but I’m feeling optimistic now. We’ll be just fine. You, me, our child, Bodhi, Baze, Chirrut, my father, and hell, even Kay-too, will be just fine.”

 

The perky nurse re-enters with the doctor, dissolving the moment.

 

Slapping on her gloves, the doctor sits down on the stool and wheels it over to the exam table.

 

“And how are you and baby today?” she asks, getting Jyn ready for the ultrasound.

 

“Good. A little peckish, seeing how I wasn’t allowed my two breakfast sandwiches this morning,” Jyn replies, glaring at Cassian. 

 

Defensively, he raises his arms. “You need to eat healthier. I’m just trying to help.”

 

Jyn pouts. “Doesn’t mean you need to take away my breakfast sandwiches.”

 

“If you two are done being sickeningly cute,” Dr. Scott interrupts with a pointed look, “we can start.”

 

With no further objections, the gel gets squeezed onto Jyn’s abdomen.

 

“That,” Dr. Scott says, waving the wand around slightly to get the best picture, “is your baby.” 

 

A muffled thumping fills the room, and they all fall quiet. Everything feels more real now, like it’s actually happening. It’s no longer a hypothetical situation, it’s  _ real.  _ They’re doing this. They’re having a baby. A baby with ten fingers, ten toes, and a heartbeat they can hear.

 

“¡Dios mío!” Cassian whispers, staring in awe at the screen showing a grainy view of their child. They’re beautiful child.

 

Jyn doesn’t realize she’s crying until Cassian wipes a tear away. Damn hormones.

 

“Would you like to find out the sex?” Dr. Scott asks, twisting around to look at Jyn, who in turn looks towards Cassian, and he simply shrugs. 

 

“It’s your decision,” he says. 

 

“Let’s do it,” she decides, nodding her head. “I want to find out.”

 

With a flick of the wrist, Dr. Scott moves the wand a few inches and then declares, “it’s a girl!”

 

The world goes out of focus as the words sink in.

 

A girl. A daughter. A little girl with bouncing pigtails and her father’s deep brown eyes, her mother’s nose and freckles, but a smile that’s all her own. She’ll be smart like Cassian, both in school and in the world outside, but also stubborn with a streak of rebelliousness like Jyn. In other words, she’ll be troublemaker with a heart of gold that gets away with everything because her parents won’t be able to make it past her puppy dog eyes. 

 

Reality comes rushing back as Cassian rambles in excited Spanish, having forgotten that none of them can understand him. Jyn catches a few words, mostly because of how similar they are to English, but the gist is that he’s very excited about this. 

 

She’s never been more in love in her life.

 

After a few more minutes of being prodded by the doctor, Jyn and Cassian are given a photo from the ultrasound and practically skip out the door, more excited than a kid on Christmas. It wasn’t just finding out they’re having a little girl - not that gender even matters to them, because they both love this child so much already, and will never stop - but also hearing the heartbeat and seeing their daughter on the screen, that’s go them so overjoyed.

 

“It’s so surreal,” Jyn says as Cassian pulls out of the parking lot. “We’re really doing this, Cass. We’re going to have a daughter in five months.”

 

Cassian simply hums in agreement, eyes focused on the road ahead. Then, “marry me.”

 

Jyn thought that the two positive pregnancy tests would be the biggest shock she would receive in her life, but apparently, she was very wrong. 

 

“That’s no way to propose to a woman, Cassian,” she chides, only half-joking. (Jyn may or may not have dreamed of this day when she was younger, and despite all the hardships she’s faced through the years, this is one dream that hasn’t quite been killed.) “No getting down on one knee, no big gesture - not even a ring! And it’s a little soon.”

 

“Which is why I was thinking that we don’t get married right away,” he explains. “Whenever we’re ready. Whether that’s in two months or two years, I don’t care. I just - I never realized how much I loved you until just then. I’ve never seen you happier. And it makes me never want to lose you. I've loved you from -”

 

“Yes.”

 

“- the moment we met, and - wait, what did you say?”

 

“Yes, Cassian, I’ll marry you. Not yet, though. Maybe we can think of this more as a promise, an agreement, that we will get married, but nothing is completely set in stone.”

 

He nods. “That works for me.” A pause. “I love you, Jyn. You and our daughter.”

 

“I love you both too.”


	6. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn thinks, and Cassian has some news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I said I wasn't going to post this until I had a second chapter finished but I'm not quite sure what I want to do and I will be very occupied this next week with studying for exams so I figured I'd give you a chapter now and the second one I have written in about a week and hopefully by the time a week after that rolls around, I'll have something else to give you.
> 
> this kind of explains Cassian's job, but there aren't any titles because I closed out of the tabs thinking I didn't need specific details and then was too lazy to go back and find them but it's not that important to the story anyways.
> 
> also there is a chance I will be posting a finnrey one-shot soon so if you also happen to like those two nerds keep an eye out
> 
> anyways hope you enjoy!

Jyn didn’t use to have a problem with Cassian working for the FBI. She had no reason to dislike his job, as they weren’t together for the first two years after their initial meeting. Even after they started dating, it wasn’t a big deal. It just meant that he couldn’t always talk about his job, which was perfectly fine with Jyn. Left more time for sex.

 

Now, though, her opinions have changed, as her boyfriend’s been away for two weeks doing something she’ll never get to find out about. He could be captured or tortured or dead and she won’t ever get to know what happened. Plus, his boss is an asshole who doesn’t want to give him any paternity leave because he’ll “lose the best agent they’ve ever seen”. 

 

(Really, the only good thing about it now is the pay, because it’s more than double what she earns, and they need all the money they can scrounge if they’re going to have a baby.)

 

As anger bubbles beneath her skin - all directed towards Draven, of course, because Cassian’s just doing his job - a fluttering beneath her ribs let her emotions dissipate before they can erupt. 

 

For the past three weeks, Jyn’s been feeling fluttering from within her womb, and learned from the many pregnancy books that it was their daughter moving around. Somehow, it’s peaceful and calming, a reassurance that everything’s still going alright in there, yet it’s also terrifying.

 

It’s a reminder that this really is an actual person, who will walk and talk and play with toys and go to school; a person who will need Jyn’s help to survive for the first few years of their life. With all the sweet, loving moments she’s experienced these past few months, she’d mostly forgotten about her fears, but now they’ve come back full force and they’re here to stay.

 

To start off, they live in a one bedroom apartment with a kitchen so small, they have to eat on the couch because there’s no space for a dining table. There’s barely enough room for a double bed in the bedroom; how the hell will they fit a crib, and a changing table, and all the clothes and diapers and toys? But they don’t have enough for a down payment, let alone a mortgage on a house - even a tiny one - so any hopes of moving into a permanent place are ruined. 

 

And if the tiny apartment isn’t enough of a problem, some days Cassian has to jet off somewhere exotic at the drop of a hat to do his secretive job Jyn will never be told about. She knows he already hates putting his job before her, and doing that when their daughter’s around will ruin him, but they need the money and he can’t refuse Draven. But what happens when it’s an important event, or their daughter’s sick and Jyn’s exhausted, and Cassian has to leave? 

 

Her biggest problem though, is her fear of screwing up. Not once in her entire life did Jyn look after anyone other than herself. How can she care for a baby that can’t hold its head up when she can barely take care of herself some days? How can she devote her entire life to raising a child when she’s going in blind, with no idea of how to change a goddamn diaper?

 

How can she raise a child when the only thing she knows how to do is leave?

 

A flutter underneath her ribs startles her out of her head and back to reality. 

 

“You know just what to say, don’t you,” Jyn whispers to her bump, smiling softly as she sits back against the headboard. She rubs a comforting hand over the swell and feels her baby girl twist around. Before all of this, she’d found it a little weird that people could be so obsessed with baby bumps, but now having one herself, she understands. 

 

There’s another flutter in reply, as if her daughter’s agreeing with her.

 

“I’m terrified of becoming a mum, but so long as I’m your mum, I know I’ll be just fine, ‘cause I love you so much already. Your daddy does too, I promise. He won’t always be around to show you, because of his job, but he loves you more than you can ever imagine.”

 

A familiar voice floats in from the living room, “My love for the both of you is infinite, so I suppose that fits.”

 

Cassian staggers in, favoring his right leg, butterfly strips covering scratches on his face and arms, dark bags under his eyes, and a nasty bruise on his jaw. 

 

He’s never looked more beautiful.

 

(Though that might just be the pregnancy making her extra horny and thus making her boyfriend appear more attractive after a two week absence. Either way, he’s hot, and that’s what really matters.)

 

“I thought I told you to take care of yourself,” Jyn scolds, pulling Cassian to the bed to better assess his injuries. He opens his mouth to talk, but she cuts him off with, “if you say ‘you should see the other guy’ I will give you a broken nose to match that bruise,” and that keeps him quiet.

 

A few minutes of silence pass, with Cassian sitting on the end of the bed as Jyn cleans his wounds - the medical team seems to believe that a band-aid is all that’s required - before he speaks, “It’s not as a bad as it looks. I just wanted to make this last assignment a good one. Go out with a bang.”

 

Jyn freezes, cotton ball halfway between the bottle of rubbing alcohol and Cassian’s face. “I really hope you mean that figuratively. And what do you mean by last assignment? Don’t tell me Draven’s given you the boot!”

 

That’d be the cherry on top of the shit sundae, Cassian getting fired. Just what they need with four months to go until they’re parents.

 

“No, no! I was going to tell you this later, maybe over dinner, but I requested a transfer. Instead of being James Bond, I’m more like Q. Or maybe Penelope from Criminal Minds. All I do is sit at a computer. No more risking my life, no more disappearing for weeks on end. Just a regular, much safer, nine to five job.”

 

It does make Jyn feel better, knowing that the chances of Cassian leaving and never coming back diminish severely with this new job. No more will she worry about their daughter growing up without a father because Cassian got killed in the line of duty.

 

“So no more secret missions I can’t hear about? No more showing up twenty minutes late to Baze and Chirrut’s dinner parties with mysterious bruises?”

 

He shakes his head. “Just some tunnel vision and maybe a headache from all the coding.” 

 

Jyn places the medical supplies off to the side. “Well then, I guess this is a cause for celebration,” she whispers seductively, lips brushing Cassian’s.

 

And celebrate they do.


	7. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian move in together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So studying for my math exam and lack of inspiration have kept me from finishing the next chapter but it's been a week and I really wanted to post this so here you go! Next chapter should be up in a week, because I just need to figure out the ending, and I have some of tomorrow, and Saturday until Tuesday to write. 
> 
> Anyways, this isn't my longest chapter but I'm pretty proud of it because for once it actually revolves around Jyn and Cassian! Hope y'all enjoy!

“All done,” Jyn huffs, placing the final box on the kitchen counter and wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. “Now, to unpack.”

 

Everyone gathered looks around at the many boxes, but no one moves a muscle. 

 

“Fine, you can all be done for the night,” she decides, and everyone cheers, throwing their hands in the air and whooping like they won a gold medal at the Olympics. (A gold medal in laziness, maybe.) “But you’re all coming back tomorrow morning to help me unpack.”

 

They all groan, but it’s replaced by another round of cheers when Cassian walks in with three boxes of pizza and two cases of beer. Bodhi, Kes, and Shara pounce on the food as soon as Cassian steps back, while Han and Galen head straight for the beer. 

 

“Animals. All of you,” Jyn exclaims with a shake of her head as the first pizza is decimated in two minutes.

 

“Some of us did more work than others,” Kes says through a mouthful of cheese and pepperoni, “causing us to work up an appetite.”

 

Before Jyn can defend herself - she's six months pregnant and Cassian wouldn't let her lift anything other than some plates - Kes is gone, kissing his wife on the cheek as he balances a can of beer, two slices of pizza (the pig), and his son who's attempting to crawl up Kes like he's a tree. 

 

Jyn can't help imagine that same scene with Cassian and their daughter. 

 

Speaking of Cassian, she finds him perched on their couch - the one piece of furniture they took from their old place, as it is leather, reclining, and fucking expensive - nursing a beer as he watches Poe play with his father.

 

“That could be us in a few years,” Cassian says, not taking his eyes off the scene. “In that exact spot, just you, myself, and our daughter.”

 

Jyn hums in agreement as she takes the empty spot beside him. Instantly, he hands her a slice of pizza and a water, and Jyn wonders if he can actually read minds. Or in this instant, he probably saw her lusting after the pizza and decided to be a nice boyfriend. Either works, as either gets Jyn her food.

 

Looking around, Jyn admires their new house - that they can afford now thanks to the FBI and their very generous bonus to Cassian for all his wonderful service - and all the potential it holds. 

 

To the left is the dining room, which will never be used since there’s the breakfast nook looking out into the backyard, and she can already see herself nursing a coffee as she watches their daughter kick around a soccer ball, or swing on the playground Baze will insist on building for them. Behind them is the wall separating the living room from the hall, which leads to what will be their daughter’s bedroom and the main bathroom. The third bedroom is at the opposite end of the hall from the second bedroom, and Jyn knows Cassian has plans for them to have a second child, so despite it being named the spare room, it won’t be spare for very long. 

 

The thought of a second child sends flutters through Jyn’s stomach, and this time, they aren’t from her daughter. They’re the same kind of flutters, though; joyous, exciting flutters that give Jyn a thrill each time she feels them. She’d never pictured herself as a mother even two years ago, and now the prospect of having two kids before her first is even born is thrilling.

 

“I know we said we aren’t getting married yet,” Cassian begins, voice low, “and I still agree with that decision, but when do you think we’ll be ready? How will we know we’re ready?”

 

Maybe it’s because they just bought a house together so they can raise their child, an act that is very domesticated in and of itself, but Jyn can picture them getting married in the next five minutes if they really wanted to. For so long, she held herself back out of fear - fear of the unknown, fear of exposing her vulnerabilities to someone new, fear of having her heart torn out of her chest and twisted until it was unrecognizable - but things have changed. Somewhere in these past nine months, she’s learned to trust Cassian, to let him hold her heart in his hands and have faith that he won’t break it.

 

“I don’t know if anyone really knows when they’re ready,” Jyn answers, “because how can you prepare for something like that? But in all honesty, I could marry you right now, and it wouldn’t feel too soon, or too rushed, because I love you, and I trust you, and I know there’s no one else I’d rather spend my life with.”

 

Cassian shrugs. “We could, you know. Get married now,” he says it so nonchalantly, like he’s suggesting they get takeout for dinner instead of becoming officially bound together for the rest of their lives.

 

“No. It may seem a little silly, but I want the big white wedding. Or, maybe a small one. But I want the frilly dress I’ll only ever wear once, and I want the expensive centerpieces, and the DJ and the dance floor. Also, I don’t want to be six months pregnant when it happens.”

 

“That is understandable. If we wait long enough, maybe our daughter can be the flower girl,” he suggests.

 

“It’ll be two years before she’ll be stable enough to make it down the aisle herself, though. Do we want to wait that long?”

 

“For you, I’d wait a thousand years if it meant I got to have one day in your arms as your husband.”

 

“Sap,” Jyn huffs, smacking his arm. 

 

“Yes, but I’m your sap.”

 

Jyn leans in close until her nose is touching his. “And don’t you ever forget it.”

 

Their lips touch, and it’s electric. With all the house hunting they’ve done in the past month, they haven’t many chances to be alone, and even something as simple as a kiss is invigorating now. Cassian deepens the kiss, wrapping his hands around the back of Jyn’s neck and pulls her as close as her bump will let him. 

 

An impatient cough disrupts their moment, and both Jyn and Cassian sheepishly separate, cheeks flushed from the heat of the moment and the embarrassment of being caught necking like horny teenagers. 

 

“I need to get going,” Jyn’s father announces, hands clasped behind his back. His smile is tight, uncomfortable, but Jyn doesn’t regret anything. “It’s a long drive back to the farm.”

 

“Oh, of course!” Somehow, she manages to push herself off the couch to give her father a hug. “Thanks for helping out. I’ll see you next week for lunch?”

 

Galen nods. “Wouldn’t miss it.” He turns to Cassian. “It was nice to see you. Treat my daughter well.”

 

“I always will,” Cassian promises.

  
It’s not quite the blessing Jyn had always dreamed of her father giving her future spouse, but she knows that was the intention. And that’s all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [jyn and cassian's house](http://www.eplans.com/house-plans/epl/hwepl07928.html?from=search)
> 
>  
> 
> also I know I mentioned last chapter that, essentially, they were too broke to buy a house but I took some creative licenses to give Cassian that huge bonus so they got enough for a down payment! Woo!


	8. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn goes into labor, and thinks a lot. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off, before you get all confused, yes, this is meant to be the next chapter after June. I didn't have any ideas for summer (besides a baby shower but there wasn't enough there for me to write something worthy) so I just skipped over it and wrote this. 
> 
> Second, I just finished all my exams for this semester (all two of them...) and then spent an hour afterwards moving the desks out of the gym, so this is a celebration of all my hard work.
> 
> And no, this is not the end. Not yet. It is for Jyn's pregnancy, but not for this fic. I still have at least three more chapters in me, and I will probably just keep writing for this because it's my baby.
> 
> Anyways, hope y'all enjoy!

Jyn, with all her baby-brain forgetfulness, becomes distracted by late night talk shows and loses track of her contractions, like she said she wouldn’t. Cassian, always worried about her now, had only promised to sleep because Jyn promised she would time them all and wake him once they were eight minutes apart. 

 

And now they’re seven minutes apart, which means it’s hospital time, and Cassian is totally going to kill her for forgetting.

 

First, though, so the only one freaking out is Cassian, she pulls on a pair of sweatpants and sandals, finds the hospital bag they’d packed a month before, and texts her father and Leia about the events currently unfolding.

 

Now, to wake Cassian. (And hope he’s too tired to remember their deal.)

 

All it takes is a nudge on his shoulder and he’s jumping up, reaching for the gun in the nightstand drawer. Once a spy, always a spy.

 

“It’s just me!”

 

Cassian huffs. “Don’t do that to me! I could’ve killed you!”

 

“Well, you didn’t. Now, put on some pants and find the keys; we’re going to the hospital.”

 

Thankfully, he’s still too groggy to question her orders, or even wonder why he’s awake so early, so there’s no fussing over the pregnant lady. 

 

If there’s one thing Jyn hated about this whole experience was all the damn fussing. People always needed to touch her bump, couldn’t go a minute without offering drinks or a seat or unwarranted parenting advice, had to make a big deal over a pregnant woman. Not a single day passed where  _ someone  _ tried to give her something, most times unwanted and unneeded. It doesn’t even stop there, because soon, she’ll have a baby everyone will be cooing over, and she still won’t catch a break.

 

Maybe this can be a good thing, though, since it’s an excuse to avoid people, an activity Jyn loves to do.

 

A contraction hits, and Jyn winces. Less thinking, more leaving.

 

By the time they get to the hospital, the fog in Cassian’s mind has cleared up, leaving him more stressed and anxious than Jyn felt during her entire pregnancy. And he’s not even the one giving birth. 

 

“But Jyn,” he’s saying, gripping her hand a little too tight, “what if something happens?”

 

“Like what? Cassian, modern medicine has made wonderful advancements, and the chances of anything bad happening are much slimmer than they used to be.”

 

“I’m just scared,” he whispers, fear heavy in his voice. “I can’t lose you, Jyn.”

 

Fighting back tears - damn emotions - she takes his hand, squeezes it reassuringly, and says, “And you won’t. I’m not going anywhere, Cassian. Not without you. I’m going to stay here with you, and marry you, and raise our daughter with you.”

 

He’s almost been lost to her before, back about nine months before they got together. Heavy rain at midnight, plus an emotional drunk behind the wheel of an eighteen-wheeler does not cause a good scene. They’d gone out drinking, and Jyn had designated herself as the sober one. Around a sharp curve on the way back to Bodhi’s place, the eighteen-wheeler slipped into their lane and hit them head on, smashing into the driver’s side. Cassian, in the midst of being yelled at for undoing his seatbelt, flew out the window and landed far too many feet away. The force of the truck twisted Jyn around until her knee broke, and her wrist smashed against the steering wheel. Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut all got lacerations, concussions, and whiplash in Bodhi’s case.

 

Jyn, as they pulled her stretcher onto the ambulance, didn’t stop demanding the whereabouts of Cassian, despite being terrified of hearing the worst. Even then, as stubborn and pigheaded as she was about her feelings, her only thoughts had been about Cassian. Not Bodhi, not Baze or Chirrut, certainly not herself, but Cassian.

 

No one was told anything until Jyn woke up to see Leia behind an empty wheelchair, who still proceeded to stay eerily silent until she wheeled Jyn into Cassian’s room. 

 

Not Bodhi, not Baze, not Chirrut’s, but Cassian’s.

 

Broken ribs, collapsed lung, major concussion, a fractured ankle, and a torn tendon for good measure, Cassian was a disaster, but Jyn couldn’t say much, with her broken knee cap, broken wrist, and punctured spleen. 

 

Jyn will never be thankful for the accident, not in a million years, but the physical therapy that followed is how she and Cassian grew closer, until he finally asked her out as soon as they were both finished. 

 

Now, they’ve promised too much, loved too much, lost too much, to let each other go. Even if the Devil sinks its nasty claws into Jyn’s throat, she’ll fight back with all she has, because leaving Cassian is not an option anymore.

 

“I’ve lost too much already. I’m not losing you now.”

 

“Good, because I can’t let you go.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When their friends arrive, it’s to a joyous room, the somber mood having long since passed. That tends to happen, though, when one becomes too invested with their newborn daughter to think of all the suffering they’ve gone through.

 

“So, what’s their name?” Leia prompts after the initial greetings, cutting right to the chase.

 

Mostly to piss off their friends, who have been bugging to know even the gender for five months now, Jyn beckons Leia closer and whispers their chosen name in her ear. 

 

“That’s so sweet!” Leia responds, loudly enough for everyone else to hear. “It’s a beautiful name, Jyn. A beautiful name for a beautiful child.”

 

Jyn smiles proudly. “I like to think so.”

 

“Ah, Jyn?” Cassian has his hand half-raised, as if he’s a child scared to answer a question in school instead of a grown, competent man with a child of his own. “As much as I like torturing our friends, I think they’ll throw a fit if we don’t tell them soon.”

 

“Oh, fine,” she relents. “Everyone, we would like you to meet our daughter; Lyra Marianna Erso-Andor.”

 

In the midst of all the excited chattering from her friends, money being given and taken with fast, greedy hands, a voice speaks softly, so softly Jyn isn’t sure she really hears anything. It asks, “Her name is Lyra?”

 

Twisting around, Jyn comes face to face with her father. He’s staring at her daughter, smile happy but eyes wistful. 

 

“I couldn’t have chosen anything else.” She hesitates, glancing quickly at Lyra’s sleepy face. “I - I think she even looks a little like Mother.” It’s hard to tell when they’re only a few hours old, but even now, Jyn can see the similarities. Lyra has her grandmother’s nose, eyes, and face shape, though she has a feeling her daughter’s eye color will be Cassian’s beautiful brown. Which, really, is nothing to complain about.

 

“Yes,” he agrees thoughtfully. “She’s absolutely beautiful.”

 

“Would you like to hold her?” Jyn offers, though she doesn’t really give him much of a choice, nearly forcing her father to take the newborn into his arms. 

 

He’s silent for a moment, watching as the infant stares up at him with her big blue eyes. When she decides she likes him, and goes back to sleep, Galen speaks. “I’m so proud of you, Stardust.” He shifts Lyra until she’s safely in one arm, then reaches down to hug Jyn with the other. Jyn melts into the embrace, finding comfort in the familiar smells of wood chips and pine trees. It’s - nice, she decides, having her father be her father again. 

 

After her mother’s death, Jyn had distanced herself from her father, even going as far as running away to Saw Gerrera when her father forgot to pick her up from school for the third week in a row during fourth grade. She blamed him for what happened to her mother; if he hadn’t gotten caught up with the law, if he hadn’t befriended Krennic, if he hadn’t tried to run away from his problems, her mother would still be here. Throughout high school, her favorite thing to do was throw that in his face, as if he wasn’t going through the exact same heartbreak as her. 

 

College was when Jyn finally realized the truth; her father had really been trying to protect them. It had been for her that he gave up a life he loved, a life with a secure job and a secure pay to provide for his family, in order to keep Jyn from getting killed in the crossfire of his own fight. 

 

And now, holding her daughter in her arms with the love of her life by her side, she truly understands his decision. Jyn would give up the world to keep little Lyra safe, even if it meant giving up everything she truly loved, and risking the worst to do so.

 

“I’m proud of you, too, Papa.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Looking around the room, Jyn notices something strange. Or rather, she notices the lack of something: her daughter isn’t here. 

 

Neither is Cassian, for that matter. Both have seemingly disappeared into thin air. Jyn swears that Poe had been holding Lyra only a minute before, and she only looked away for a second to check her phone, and now Lyra and Cassian are missing.

 

Before she can start worrying, they return as quickly as they left, and Cassian passes Lyra to Jyn like nothing happened.

 

Nothing appears to be out of order or worrisome, but Jyn is still suspicious. Why would he randomly leave like that - with their daughter, too - without telling her?

 

And then she looks at Lyra’s onesie, and is surprised to see it’s not the same one as before. No, this one, instead of being blue with yellow ducks, is white with the words “will you marry my daddy?” written in Cassian’s perfect penmanship.

 

To her left, Cassian is down on his knee, velvet box flipped open to reveal a stunning diamond ring.

 

“I know you’ve already said yes, but how about you make this old man’s dreams come true. Will you marry me?” is all he says. There’s no big, heartfelt speech spouting some cheesy, clichéd nonsense about love at first sight like in every single rom-com Jyn has been forced to watch; it’s short, sweet, and to the point, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

“Of course.”

 

Their friends cheer, of course, and they accept the congratulations being sent their way, but Jyn’s favorite reaction is that of Lyra; the infant  _ smiles _ . (She knows it’s a reflex and not a genuine smile, but it doesn’t mean her daughter isn’t happy.)

 

“I love you both, so much,” Cassian whispers.

 

“I love you both, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [jyn's ring](http://www.brilliantearth.com/Lyra-Diamond-Ring-Rose-Gold-BE1ABD8R8-1152956/)  
>  (also no, I didn't just choose this because of them name. it's also really pretty and different, which I like to think Jyn would like.)


	9. August 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian (finally) get hitched!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy one month since I first posted this fic! Can't believe it's been so long since I've been trash for these two...
> 
> For once a chapter that has (almost) everything: Jyn's friends, her father, and Cassian! (But no Lyra...)
> 
> I "didn't sleep well" last night so I could skip out on skiing, and thus had a free day to finish this. Got a little wonky in the middle, but I don't care because I finally finished this monster. It's not that long, but when you have 30 other pages of writing in the same google doc, it sure as hell seems like a lot.
> 
> As for the 2019 thing, the first few chapters with Jyn's pregnancy take place in 2017, and this is two years after that, but I specified for this because it's a little like an epilogue without actually being the end.
> 
> Also, there are mentions of miscarriage, but they're nothing graphic, so tread with caution. Also also, this (and chapter six? the one that takes place in May...) are the smuttiest you will get. So not very.
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy!

The day is August 15th, the weather is warm, dry, and sunny, and Jyn is surprisingly calm for someone an hour away from walking down the aisle. 

 

When Leia questions her about this, Jyn shrugs, unsure herself as to the reason for her collected composure. It might have something to do with Cassian being the one at the end of the aisle. Jyn has no reason to be nervous because they've practically been married for two years already; this is more of a formality. 

 

Still, her easy thoughts about the whole debacle don't stop her stomach from rolling when Han walks in with a bucket of chili cheese fries. (Where he got them and why he even has them  _ an hour before her wedding  _ isn't something Jyn wants to know the answer to, but she does want them gone, so she demands that he leaves and refuses to let him re-enter until there isn't a single hint of the stench on him.)

 

“What's wrong with you?” Shara asks, frowning deeply. “You love chili cheese fries.”

 

“Not anymore, I don't.” There had never been a bigger fan of the greasy, spicy, beautiful delicacy known as chili cheese fries before Jyn, and there should never be one after. Apparently, that’s changed, because even the whiff she catches as the door shuts behind Han is enough to tie her stomach up into nauseated knots. “God, I haven’t felt that nauseous since . . . I was pregnant with Lyra.”

 

“Are you sure it’s not nerves?” Sabine questions, but it’s a shot in the dark. In no ways is it nerves. When she gets nervous, she fidgets. Can’t sit still, can’t stop tapping and clicking and twirling and chewing. And right now, Jyn is as still as she’s ever been her whole life.

 

“Absolutely certain.” 

 

In the mirror, Jyn sees Leia bite her lip, hesitant. “What if,” she starts, but cuts off with a shake of her head, re-focusing on pining Jyn’s hair.

 

“No, go on,” she prompts, now curious. Leia knows something, and for once, she’s not sharing, which is never a good sign. “‘What if’ what?”

 

Leia sets the hairspray back on the counter, then squares her shoulders and lets her eyes meet Jyn’s in the mirror. “You mentioned that you haven’t been that nauseous since you were pregnant, and you did say your dress was tighter than you remember at the last fitting.”

 

Though she doesn’t say anything more, the implication is quite obvious, and hangs heavy in the air. All the signs are there; Jyn is just oblivious to them all after last time.

 

Ten months earlier, Jyn had taken a store bought test, and this time, grew ecstatic at the two lines staring back at her. Cassian had been away for the weekend, on a trip to DC to meet with some high-ranking Intelligence officers about something classified, and she’d decided to wait until he came home to tell him, but it never happened. Instead, she got to tell him about what could have been, the child they could’ve had, the brother or sister Lyra might have grown up with.

 

Ever since, she’s been afraid of it happening again, and made sure to take the proper precautions against it. To wake up and just know, deep in her soul, what was going on, and to be so utterly alone at the time, it was something she never wanted to experience again.

 

But now, now she has hope. Something just feels  _ right _ . A little like with Lyra, she realizes. Despite all the klaxons erupting in her mind, all the red lights and warning signs on the side of this long, winding road, Jyn knows this is real, it’s happening, and it’s wonderful. 

 

Decision made before she has time to question it, Jyn takes a deep breath and says, “Someone find me a pregnancy test.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you alright, Stardust?” 

 

Even in heels, Jyn has to crane her neck to meet her father’s eyes. “Perfect. Why do you ask?”

 

“You’re bouncing. And I know it’s not to calm Lyra.” 

 

The (almost) two-year-old in question is bumbling on about something in her broken speech and perfectly content in Jyn’s arms, with or without the constant movement. 

 

“It’s nothing. So, are there going to be any wedding bells for you in the future?” she deflects. The perfect way to distract her father is to bring up his love life and get him to stutter awkwardly, stumbling over a half-assed explanation of how it’s none of her business that tells her everything she needs to know.  

 

Leia approaches, hisses “two minutes!”, takes Lyra from Jyn’s arms and hands her to Shara to get the flower girl ready, and promptly stalks off to yell at Luke to “get his damn cello ready! This is not the time to ogle Wedge, for god’s sake. Do you want to ruin Jyn and Cassian’s wedding?”. 

 

She may be angry, stubborn, and always ready for a fight, but Leia gets results, and Jyn is happy to be yelled at if it keeps everything on schedule.

 

“Jyn, if this is cold feet -”

 

“No, Papa. No cold feet. It’s a happy bounce, I promise.”

 

Galen nods, but there’s a rare smile on his face, instead of his typical stoic frown. A real smile, too, not some fake one he used to charm politicians into funding his projects, or a passive-aggressive one reserved for only the worst of customers. 

 

He’s about to push a little more - his eyes are starting to shine in a mischievous way - when the music starts and Poe walks Lyra through the white lattice arch and down the aisle, Shara’s son holding the rings as Jyn’s daughter throws clumps of white rose petals. Her bridesmaids follow once the little ones arrive at the halfway point, one after the other, until the song changes and Chirrut asks that all rise for the bride.

 

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

 

“I’ve never wanted anything else.”

 

And so, with her arm linked with her father’s, Jyn steps through the arch and onto petal-covered path, more than ready to spend the rest of her life with the man she loves.

 

* * *

 

 

“We are gathered here today,” Chirrut begins, hands clasped behind his back and smiling brightly, “to witness the union of these two -” he pauses as Bodhi leans over and whispers in his ear “- it’s just Jyn and Cassian? Guess I can cut out the speech about them being wonderful people who deserve all the happiness in the world.” The crowd chuckles, because  _ of course  _ this couldn’t be a serious ceremony. “Anyways, I have waited longer than these two for this moment, so let’s stop beating around the bush and get right to it! I’ve been told you’ve written your own vows?”

 

“At Cassian’s insistence,” Jyn confirms. That earns another laugh. “And that means you can go first, honey.”

 

“Whatever you say, dear.” He clears his throat, takes Jyn’s hands, and starts to speak. “So many times, I have tried to express my love for you, but like getting Lyra to eat carrots, it’s impossible. So, I’m not going to talk about why I love you. Instead, I’m going to make you promises, because I love you. I vow to always stay by your side, through thick, thin, and Lyra’s tantrums. I vow to love you as you deserve: with admiration, adoration, honor, and respect. But most importantly, I vow to love you and our daughter, and any future children we may or may not have, with all my being, until the day I die.”

 

If Jyn was a mess when he started, she’s a disaster when he finishes. Thank God for waterproof makeup and Shara’s brilliant artistry.

 

Hoping to calm herself enough to say her vows without bursting into tears, Jyn takes a deep breathe, centering herself. “I don’t think I’ve been this emotional since I was pregnant and we decided to watch  _ Marley and Me. _ ” Slyly - or at least she hopes it’s subtle enough that most people miss it - she winks at Cassian, trying to tell him the news without distracting from their wedding. “As I’m sure my bridesmaids can attest, I had a lot of trouble writings my vows. We’ve been through hell together, but the best I could come up with is “I love you. A lot.” It’s true, though. I do love you a lot. So much, in fact, that I can’t find anything more to say because all my brain wants to do is think about you; how your accent grows thicker after five minutes with the Damerons; how your lame jokes saved me from giving up during physical therapy; how I see a fail video on Facebook and have to show you, just so I can hear your laugh; how your kind, generous, all-encompassing love as made me feel so important these past few years. So maybe I couldn’t come up with anything better than “I love you a lot”, but it’s also the only way I could ever describe, no matter how vague, my love for you.”

 

Although her eyes never look away from Cassian’s, not for a single second, Jyn can hear the guests sniffling, imagines her grandmother dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief, or a lone tear slipping down the side of her father’s face - he’s a truly a giant teddy bear at heart. 

 

“Now that the sappy part of the day is over, we can get to the good stuff!” Chirrut exclaims with a laugh, but Jyn doesn’t miss how he swipes at his eye. 

 

Once Poe hands the rings off to the proper person, Chirrut begins the exchanging of the rings. Like everything else in the ceremony, it’s short and sweet, and Cassian’s dipping her into a kiss before Jyn can process the fact that  _ holy shit she’s actually finally married.  _ Then they’re off, down the aisle to - somewhere, the dressing rooms maybe? Considering the reception is being held in the next building over - and the guests are wolf-whistling and someone - Shara, maybe? - promises to look after Lyra and in the back of her mind Jyn registers an argument about who’s actually going to watch her daughter - popular girl, that one - but she doesn’t really know because  _ she and Cassian are married it’s forever now and she’s never felt happier _ .

 

* * *

 

 

“You look beautiful, by the way,” Cassian whispers in her ear against some 90s slow song pounding through the speakers. The dance floor is void of people; only Jyn and Cassian remain, as the few guests left are participating in a drinking contest that they have no hope of winning, so long as Kes doesn’t tap out anytime soon. It’s their first moment alone this entire day, and coincidentally (or not), it’s the most relaxed Jyn has felt since she woke up this morning. “And your dress - it’s perfect.”

 

The dress in question is an “exquisite embroidered knee-length ivory gown, made from gorgeous lace on tulle, that features a pretty lace illusion neckline and back, with a Diamante-encrusted band to slim the waist,” according to the dress consultant and the description on the website. But in other words, yes, it is perfect. Despite wanting a grand white-wedding to rival even the best of rom-coms, Jyn knew that a floor-length ball gown was out of the question. Plus, she was doing everything out of order, and decided that choosing something a little more modern would better suit her.

 

As it turns out, it was the best decision of her life, as Cassian’s hands have been no more than three inches away from her the entire night, always on her hips, her shoulders, her hands, her face. (Except during the garter toss, but he was on a whole other level of close then.)

 

“You’re glowing,” he says into her cheek, her jaw, her neck. “Sparkling, shining, gleaming, glittering, absolutely radiant.” He places a kiss for each word, and already, Jyn can feel the heat pooling in her stomach. 

 

“Save some of that talk for later, Mr. Erso-Andor. We still have polite company,” she scolds, but it’s very half-hearted because she’s melting under his touch, can’t think straight, wants his hands on her body, it’s so intoxicating -

 

“I do apologize, Mrs. Erso-Andor, but I find myself infatuated with you, and I don’t believe I can stop if I tried.” He’s not sorry. In fact, Jyn would guess that he’s amused (and a little aroused) by this, the kinky bastard.

 

Jyn, honest-to-god,  _ giggles  _ like a blushing schoolgirl when he reaches her shoulders, and if she were drunker, she’d go along with it, but she hasn’t touched a single drop of alcohol all night, and that tends to keep her level-headed.

 

“No, Cassian, stop!” These aren’t words she wants to say, not when he’s touching her like that, but now isn’t the time. “You’re drunk, and we’re in public! Ten more minutes of decency, and then you can have your way with me,” she promises.

 

He grins a dopey, lopsided, adorable grin, and presses a kiss at the base of her jaw, right in her sweet spot, and his grin turns to a smirk when she suppresses a moan. “You’re drunk too. And it’s our wedding, Jyn! Everyone will be more surprised if we  _ didn’t  _ do this.”

 

“Actually, I’m not drunk. I haven’t had a drink all night,” she admits, peeling herself away from his lips, hands on his chest to stop herself from giving into his embrace.

 

His brow furrows. “Jyn, it’s our wedding! Nothing can go wrong if you have just one drink.” Raising a hand, he tries to flag down a waiter, but Jyn pushes his arm back down with a hiss.

 

“I  _ can’t  _ drink Cassian!”

 

“One shot of Tequila, and then you never have to drink again,” he bargains.

 

His hands have started roaming now, and she takes a shaky breath. Oh, the things he does to her . . . “I’m not allowed to, Cassian,” she answers firmly, determined to stay strong against his hands that are sliding down, down, down her back.

 

“Why not? Is it for a diet? Because Jyn, you are beautiful, and perfect, and -”

 

“I’m not allowed to drink because it can harm the baby, Cass,” she interrupts, stopping his hands before they go below the equator and completely fry her brain.

 

He halts, confused, and Jyn knows now that he may be slightly too drunk for a serious conversation. “Baby? Lyra’s almost two, and Shara’s volunteered to watch her tonight.”

 

“No, Cassian, not Lyra! I can’t drink because I’m pregnant!”

 

That seems to sober him up. Of course, the DJ chooses that moment to shut off the speakers, enveloping the atrium in silence. 

 

Slowly, the remaining guests forget their alcohol, shot glasses tumbling onto the table, and turn their attention to the happy couple at the center of the dance floor. 

 

“We’re having another baby?” he asks, tentative. “Are you sure?”

 

Jyn nods. “I took a test today, before the ceremony. And if I did the math correctly, I’m three months along today.”

 

“That does explain a lot. I didn’t want to say anything, but your waist did seem a smidge bit bigger.”

 

She smacks his arm, but can’t find the heart to be offended. He’s still a little drunk, anyways. He doesn’t quite know how much shit that would normally get him in.

 

“We’re having another baby.  _ ¡Dios mío,  _ Jyn! We’re having another baby!”

 

He’s touching her again, lips all over her face as his hands wander over her shoulders, but this time, it flames the fire in her heart. 

 

_ They’re having another baby.  _

 

* * *

 

 

That night, after Cassian ravish and worships her in bed, she holds a hand over her abdomen, and swears she feels a small flutter. 

  
_ Welcome to the family,  _ she thinks.  _ You’re going to be so loved. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [jyn's dress](https://www.essensedesigns.com/essense-of-australia/wedding-dresses/d2101/)  
>     
> [follow my tumblr](https://teamstevesass.tumblr.com)


	10. Feburary 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Leia and Han's Valentine's Day wedding acts as a background for Jyn's pain (both mentally and physically.) Or; Jyn goes into labor during her friends' wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god it's been so long. 15 days to be exact. I was going to try and post this yesterday but I didn't get it finished, which was for the better since this is about Valentine's Day (which is still has another two and a half hours left where I live). I didn't get a chance to edit this (not that I really ever do oops) because I wanted to post it while it was still V-Day.
> 
> Anyways next update will be who knows when I go away in two weeks and school is busy and I had a five day weekend (snow day friday, monday, tuesday (today) plus regular weekend) that I spent watching Netflix and finishing The Da Vinci Code (which by the way is fucking amazing 10 out of 10 recommend) and yeah basically I have nothing written. Have a few ideas but nothing solid. 
> 
> Oh and we actually get to see a bit of baby Lyra this time so that's new and it honestly surprised me a bit when I wrote her in.

In all their stubbornness, hot-headedness, stupidity, and inability to back down from a fight, Han and Leia decide to get married on Valentine’s Day because of a  _ dare _ . A dare, may Jyn add, that only came to be as a way of Luke trying to prove that his sister wouldn’t keep her childhood promise of being married on the most romantic day of the year. So, really, it wasn’t even worth it! But because this is Han and Leia, neither let go of their egos for a second, and thus, their wedding was planned for February 14th.

 

At first, besides the many connotations that are carried with this sad excuse of a holiday, Jyn had no problem with the chosen date. Since it was planned to be more of an upscale elopement than an actual wedding, it falling on a Friday was of no concern; Jyn has ways of twirling her hair and getting the entire afternoon off, no questions asked. Plus, it would be an instant date for her and Cassian, instead of taking the effort to plan something themselves. Food, entertainment, and lodging would all be provided, and Chirrut and Baze had volunteered to babysit, leaving Jyn and Cassian to become  _ excited  _ by the prospect of the holiday, opposed to the typical dread. 

 

And then Jyn discovered that she was pregnant, and her due date landed a week after the wedding, making what was meant to be a romantic date with her husband into the world’s worst waiting game. Because when can life ever be fair and give her a Valentine’s day free of stress and kids?

 

Having already accepted the position of bridesmaid by this discovery, Jyn was loath to rescind her place in the bridal party, because not only would that throw a wrench into Leia’s meticulous plans, but she refused “to let some damn kid” keep her from participating. This child would not impede upon this wedding or Jyn’s life.

 

Jyn, throughout her entire pregnancy, was adamant about being independent, proving that she could still do things herself. From time to time, she would rely on Cassian - he gives the  _ nicest  _ backrubs - but whenever someone contended her claim, Jyn found her game face and said, “watch me” and revelled in the astonished face of her challenger. This meant she ignored all offers of aid from everyone, especially leading up towards the end of her third trimester.

 

Specifically, Jyn called people out when the topic of her not attending Han and Leia’s wedding was brought up. She was going, and would walk down the aisle as a bridesmaid, so help her God. She could be in labor and  _ still  _ insist on being in the wedding party. Nothing would stop her, and she’d kill whoever tried to get in her way.

 

Of course, this was before Jyn goes into labor at their wedding and has to power through the pain, but she’s stubborn and refuses to be proven wrong. 

 

* * *

 

 

It all starts in the morning, five minutes before they leave for the day. As Jyn waddles through the kitchen, throwing together a slapdash lunch for herself, there’s a sharp pain in her lower abdomen, but it’s gone so quickly she calls it a weak Braxton-Hicks contraction and finishes making her ham-mayo-pickle-brie sandwich. It’s soon forgotten altogether when she gets in the car and Lyra’s adorableness distracts her.

 

At work, the office is calm and quiet, and the morning passes uneventfully, though she does experience a few more Braxton-Hicks. But they’re getting stronger, closer together, and by the time Cassian picks her up, Jyn has her suspicions. She stays quiet, though, because as soon as Cassian finds out, he’ll order her to the hospital, and she’ll miss the wedding.

 

By the time they reach the Organa-Solo house, a grand three-storey Victorian home in a gated residential area  _ and _ the wedding venue, Jyn’s contractions - fake or not - are consistently fifteen minutes apart and getting stronger. Until they’re seven minutes apart, though, she can keep quiet about it. No use getting everyone in a tizzy on Leia’s wedding day when she still has a while to go before a hospital is needed.

 

The afternoon passes in a blur of hair, make-up, and hiding contractions, which is easier than expected. Her friends can be quite oblivious after a glass or two of champagne. 

 

Somehow, despite all the tipsiness, all the bridesmaids and Leia are ready to go ten minutes ahead of schedule, giving them all some free time while they wait for the men. Jyn decides to find her husband and spend their ten minutes enjoying a romantic evening without kids, simply as husband and wife.

 

Of course, with her pregnancy brain, Jyn forgets that her contractions are getting stronger and more frequent, and that Cassian will notice. Curses of marrying a (former) spy; they’re a little too observant.

 

“Jyn, don’t lie to me; how far apart are your contractions?”

 

They’re sitting in the back row of benches, basking in the unusually warm winter sun and enjoying a minute of peace before the chaos truly begins. Or, they had been, before Cassian spoke and shattered Jyn’s hopes of keeping it quiet until after the ceremony.

 

Knowing she can’t lie to her (former spy!) husband, Jyn admits with a sigh, “about ten minutes. I should’ve told you earlier, but I don’t want to miss the ceremony.”

 

“You said they’re ten minutes apart? If everything goes as planned, we should have enough time to watch the ceremony before needing to leave.”

 

Well, that was easy. It took no cajoling whatsoever to convince her husband to let her stay, though it may have to do with him feeling sorry for what she’s about to go through. Jyn almost broke his finger giving birth to Lyra, and she’s sure he’s realized it won’t be any better this time around.

 

“Besides,” he adds, “it’s Valentine’s Day. Why spend our time in a hospital when we can enjoy part of a romantic evening?”

 

So that’s what they do. Their extra ten minutes are mostly spent chatting, but it’s a refreshing change. Most nights, they’re too busy watching Lyra - who’s currently potty-training and an utter menace around the house - to actually talk, and by the time their daughter’s in bed, they’re both too exhausted to do anything. Jyn feels as though this is the first adult conversation she’s had with her husband since . . . Christmas, or maybe New Year’s.

 

Leia’s sister, Winter, bursts outside right on schedule, ordering the wedding party into their proper spots and scaring Jyn with her similarities to the bride on her own wedding day. Remembering Leia on that day prompts Jyn to find her spot very quickly, lest she face Winter’s wrath. 

 

Things fall quickly into place, like dominoes toppling in perfect order, and soon Jyn’s in her place between Winter and Shara, unable to contain a smile as one of her closest friends makes her way down the aisle. Pride swells in her chest as the ceremony unfolds. It seems like just yesterday she and Leia were discussing just how annoying Han Solo could be, and now Leia’s marrying the fool. On Valentine’s Day - the cheesiest day of them all - no less. They’ve all grown so much, and Jyn’s so proud of whom everyone’s become.

 

She isn’t proud of how loudly she curses when her water breaks just as Han and Leia take a step down the aisle, however. But for now, Jyn is too busy being ushered inside by Cassian to be ashamed. 

 

“How close are you contractions now?” he asks, sitting her down on the couch and shoving a glass of water in her hand. (How did he even get that?)

 

“Still ten minutes. We have time, Cassian,” Jyn assures him. She places a comforting hand on his shoulder and tries not to think about the irony of their situation. (But really, shouldn’t she be the one requiring comfort? She’s about to push a goddamn baby out of her vagina! And on Valentine’s Day too; the most romantic day of the year!)

 

* * *

 

 

As it turns out, they do not actually have time. The contractions get a jump start after her water breaks, and they’re zooming to the hospital before Jyn can appear in any wedding photos. (Which is quite the tragedy, because besides the barely visible stain on her dress, she still looks damn good and photo-ready.) 

 

From there, it isn’t long - only about another two hours - until Jyn is taken to the delivery room.

 

Before she knows it, her son is swaddled in a blanket, sleeping peacefully, and in her arms. Cassian’s on the bed, position so Jyn’s half in his lap, and admiring their son over her shoulder. Lyra’s in Cassian’s lap, staring curiously at the newborn. 

 

“Why’s he so small?” the toddler asks, wrinkling her nose.

 

“Because he’s a baby,” Jyn answers simply, “and babies are small.”

 

“He’s not small where it counts,” Cassian whispers in her ear, smug. Of course the first thing he had noticed was their son’s large penis, although Dr. Scott explained that it tended to happen at birth, and it would soon return to average.

 

If Lyra heard Cassian’s comment, she doesn’t show it. “What’s his name, Mama?”

 

“Sebastián. Sebastián Galen Erso-Andor. My perfect little Valentine.”

 

Maybe she was wrong; maybe Valentine’s Day isn’t so bad. Love is love, and who’s to say it has to be romantic? Besides, despite all the horrible connotations Jyn associates with this day, she has a brand new reason to enjoy now, and he’s sleeping in her arms. 

 

There’s a beat as Jyn basks in the sweet moment with her family before Lyra says, “that’s a long name.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so once again they name their kid after their parents surprise surprise I promise if they have a third kid (which they totally will cuz that's the biggest idea I have rn) the name will be more original


	11. September 2022

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Lyra's first day of school!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god it's been so long. I'm so sorry for the wait, and that all you get is a plotless chapter that I wrote in like twenty minutes. But hey, what's a book of fluff without plotless one-shots? Anyways, I have part of another chapter written up, but the rest of it is giving me grief, so it might be a little bit before I can get it out. There may be some other plotless one-shots thrown out before I get it out, just so I don't have to go more than a month without posting. 
> 
> Hopefully, seeing as a snow day is extending my March break, I can get more writing done and have something to post for later.
> 
> Also, I'm going away in a couple weeks, and I won't be able to get much writing done, so there will be a little bit of a wait again. 
> 
> Again, sorry for the delay, and hope you like this short fluff!

“Mama, mama! Wake  _ up _ !” 

 

Tiny feet bounce up and down, left and right, narrowly missing Jyn’s ankles each time. She has two options: hope Lyra will give up and let Jyn get five more minutes of rest, or get up now and avoid catastrophe.

 

“I’m up!” Jyn says through a yawn. She hasn’t been this tired since . . . Lyra came down with a cold two weeks after they took Sebastián home from the hospital and Jyn pulled an all-nighter by herself.

 

Now, though, no one was sick, but Sebastián had been restless all night, and would only calm down for his mother - he’s a total momma’s boy - meaning Jyn had been tasked with keeping him quiet enough to let the others sleep. Finally, around two in the morning, her son had decided he wanted to sleep, so she’d tucked him in and hopped into bed beside Cassian. Except keeping with a hyperactive toddler meant pushing through her exhaustion and by the time Jyn pulled the covers up to her chin, ready to sleep, her second wind had arrived and she was wide awake. It was four o’clock before her eyes began to droop, and she knew Cassian’s alarm - that woke her up, without fail, every morning - was set for seven. 

 

“It’s the first day of school!” Lyra exclaims, flopping into the hollow between Jyn and Cassian. Both parents collectively huff as the mattress rolls underneath them. 

 

Mornings have never been Jyn’s thing - Cassian’s the early bird of the family - and this one is no different. But her daughter has been vibrating with excitement all week, and Jyn isn’t about to ruin Lyra’s good mood by appearing grumpy. So, she plasters a warm smile on her face and turns to face her daughter. “That it is. Are you excited?” 

 

“Yeah, but we gotta go! I don’t wanna be late!”

 

The clock on the bedside table reads 6:57. School begins at eight-thirty, and it’s a three-minute walk down the street to the elementary school. Jyn can still get another half-hour of sleep. But Lyra takes after her father, and never sleeps in past eight o’clock. Convincing her to go back to bed, or even watch TV quietly, is like asking Han and Leia to stop bickering; it’s humanly impossible. 

 

“You go pick out an outfit, and I’ll be up in a few minutes to help you put it on.”

 

Ecstatic with the choice to choose her own clothes, Lyra sprints across the house to her room, little feet slapping the hardwood.

 

“Jyn, you stay in bed. Sleep. I’ll go take care of Lyra,” Cassian offers.

 

It’s tempting, but Jyn promised to see Lyra off on her first day of school. Besides, what’s parenthood if you’re not running on fumes every once in awhile?

 

“I’m fine. But if you could take care of Bastian this morning, I would forever be in your debt.”

 

Cassian smirks. “Forever, you say?”

 

Jyn rolls her eyes fondly. Leaning over, she places a kiss on the corner of his mouth, knowing it will drive him crazy. “Forever.”

 

With one final, proper kiss, Jyn throws the blankets off and slips out of bed. Duty’s calling, and it sounds like a hyperactive four-year-old.

 

* * *

 

 

“Remember, listen to your teachers. Be nice to the other kids. Play fair, and share your toys. But if anyone ever gives you trouble, you tell someone. Okay?”

 

Lyra nods. “Okay, momma.” In her two braids tied with ribbons and light-up princess sneakers, she looks every bit like an innocent kindergartner. Jyn’s heart constricts with the thought of her daughter starting school. She’s growing up, and it hurts to know that soon, Lyra won’t be depending on them. But for now, Jyn banishes the thought. For now, her daughter likes bedtime stories and night lights, and she wants to make these moments last.

 

Across the yard, a teacher calls for Ms. Levin’s class. A dozen other five-year-olds and their parents make their way to the door, and Jyn knows they need to be part of that group.

 

“That’s your class. Quick, give momma a hug before you go.” 

 

Lyra’s little arms wrap tightly around Jyn’s shoulders. “Love you, momma!” She calls, and off she goes, running after her class.

 

She may be an exhausting child with a tendency to find trouble wherever she goes, but Jyn wouldn’t trade her daughter for anything else. Not even a full night’s rest. 

  
“Love you too.”


	12. May 2023

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn goes to her ten-year school reunion and runs into an ex. Featuring two random OC friends, a creepy ex-boyfriend, and jealous!Cassian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, all concepts of time have been thrown out the window. I have no idea when to make Jyn's birthday, so the timeline is a little screwy cuz there's a chance this is supposed to take place a year before it does but i'm over it so we're sticking with the years I've got.
> 
> Anyways, another plotless chapter I hashed out quickly. It's kinda cute, but only features Jyn and Cassian. But I needed more chapters with just them anyways.
> 
> I still have plans for more chapters, but god knows when I'm going to actually write them. Next update will be in no more than a month. Depends on how much I sleep on Easter Weekend, since I will be suffering from major jetlag then and won't have much time to write for these next nine or so days.

Of all the people Jyn expected to see at her ten year high school reunion, her ex-boyfriend was not one of them. Throughout his five years in high school, her ex consistently showed up to class late, high, or both, and managed to graduate with a fifty-five percent average. He wore leather jackets and ripped denim, gave zero shits about anyone’s feelings, and publicly announced his distaste for any and all extracurriculars with every chance he got. Definitely not the kind of guy she expected to show up ten years later with a bespoke suit instead of studded leather.

 

And yet, there he stands, tumbler of whiskey in his firm grasp as he socializes with his most hated enemies from his school days. His hair has been cut and styled, his face clean-shaven, and his figure is lean but healthy. Jyn hates to say it, but he looks . . . good. 

 

Too bad she looks even better. 

 

With her fitted black dress, smokey eyeshadow, and Cassian on her arm, all eyes are on Jyn as she makes her rounds around the reception hall. It’s all for show, but what a marvelous show it is. 

 

The first hour is spent socializing with old acquaintances, catching up and gossiping about how the most popular of their classmates fell and fell hard. Jyn has tried to instill goodness in her children by being a good person herself, but her kids are home with the babysitter and Cassian won’t tell, so she lets herself revert back to her hardass ways of being a teenage rebel. This includes gossiping.

 

“Do you remember Jackson and Lauren?” an old friend - Riley - asks. With her average height, build, and style, she’s a very unassuming person, but double cross her and she’ll stab you in the back faster than you can apologize. She was one of Jyn’s closest friends in high school. 

 

Catherine scoffs, flipping her blonde curls over her shoulder. “How could I not? They spent all of his junior year making out in front of the ninth grade lockers!” Simultaneously, they all shudder. Everyone caught sight of them swapping spit at least once, and it was the most disgusting thing they’d ever witnessed. Jyn still remembers the horror from time to time. 

 

“Whatever happened to them anyway?”

 

Conspiratorially, Riley glances around the hall, checking for the two people in question. With the coast clear, she whispers, “I heard from Jessica that Lauren cheated on him when he went to college, and now she and her three kids are living with some rich, hotshot lawyer in Miami. Apparently, Jackson still isn’t over her, and everyone he dates looks exactly like her because of it.”

 

“Have you heard anything about me?” Jyn questions. If there’s anyone from her “friend” group who’s likely to have rumors spread about them, it’s Jyn. A loner with a bad-boy boyfriend who gets knocked up by her boyfriend of three months four years later? Everyone would pounce on it like starving lions on a limping antelope. 

 

Riley shakes her head. “Not yet, anyways, but I’ll keep an ear out. If anything, I’ll spread the word, because there’s nothing I want to see more than one of your legendary fights.”

 

Of course, this is the point when Cassian chooses to come back with their drinks. “Legendary fights? Jyn, I know you make the threats, but I’ve never heard of you actually fighting someone. I too would love to see this.”

 

“It only happened twice, and I wouldn’t call them legendary.”

 

God must really hate her, because if Cassian getting this big idea about her  _ fighting  _ in his head wasn’t enough, her ex-boyfriend decides to take this moment to approach. 

 

“Jyn Erso. What a surprise,” he says smugly, and Jyn realizes Cassian might see her fight after all. A slim hand smooths back his hair before he extends it towards Cassian. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Chad.”

 

It takes acting skills to be a decent spy, and in this moment, Jyn is very glad her husband was one of the best at the job because the smile he plasters on appears sincere. Only Jyn can tell that he’s thinking of a thousand different ways to kill him. “Cassian,” he replies politely, shaking Chad’s hand politely. (Jyn hopes that if being nice people doesn’t work out for her kids, they’ll get Cassian’s acting skills because damn, even she almost believes he’s being genuine.)

 

“It’s been a while,” Chad says to Jyn. “What do you say we go catch up by the bar? I’ll buy you a drink.”

 

Jyn motions to her own glass. “I’m fine, thanks.” He isn’t being very subtle about wanting to get back in her pants, and she plans on using it to her advantage. High school reunions aren’t typically about revenge, but this one is, and she knows her friends are on her side.

 

“Well, we can still catch up.” Disgustingly, he adds in a “sly” wink that makes Jyn want to puke. “It’s been ten years, so there’s a lot we’ve missed.”

 

She motions again and practically shoves her left hand in his face. “I’m fine, thanks.”

 

Still, the message is unreceived. How hard is it for him to take the damn hint? “Do you not want to be friends?”

 

“I think she’d rather not talk to you at all, actually,” Cassian intervenes, lips turned down in a scowl. 

 

“And who are you to say so?”

 

Cassian passes his drink off to Catherine, and it’s his version of removing his earrings. He’s ready to fight, and Jyn’s ready to join him. “I’m her husband.”

 

Chad scoffs. “Yeah, right. The Jyn Erso I knew would sooner cut off her own head than get  _ married _ .”

 

“Yeah, well, you never knew me very well. Now, I would appreciate if you would leave, as my husband is right. I don’t want to talk to you. You were an abusive asshole who destroyed my heart, and I’d rather not be reminded of those dark times when I’m so very happy now.”

 

Apparently, she isn’t worth the fight, as Chad quickly marches off and begins the hunt for another desperate woman to take him home.

 

“Good riddance,” says Catherine once he’s out of earshot. 

 

“Good riddance, indeed,” agrees Riley. “Why did you ever date him anyways?”

 

“The sex. My younger self thought it was amazing. Of course, that was before meeting Cassian.” She wraps an arm around her husband’s shoulder and winks, and he takes the opportunity to pull her into a hot kiss.

 

“I think it’s time we take off,” he decides, pulling back from the embrace. “Don’t want the babysitter to charge us extra.”

 

“Excellent point, Cass. So glad I married a smart man.”

  
A few short goodbyes and two shots later, Jyn and Cassian exit the reception hall arm in arm. If anyone sees them running to their car, they can always use the babysitter excuse again. After all, no one knows that their kids are staying with their grandfather for the weekend.


	13. October 2025

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian add a new, familiar addition to the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for the wait, but time just kept getting away from me. I had a blast during my week in Europe, despite spending nearly six hours in the Frankfurt Airport because our original flight from Toronto was delayed by about four hours and we missed our flight to Paris. I also got terribly sunburnt during the ceremony for the 100th anniversary of Vimy Ridge, but it was totally worth it. Anyways, it's been a while but I'm back now! Not completely, because I've been on a finn/rey and riverdale kick lately, so my focus is turning away from this, but I still have plenty of ideas to work with, so fret not!
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy, and don't find it too cheesy/clichéd, but I just had to, because I am a piece of trash. Next chapter will be up at some point before the end of June. I hope.

Jyn swore up and down as a teenager that she would never have kids. They’re loud and messy and expensive, and responsibility was not her strong suit. Her plans, even if they involved marriage, would never become entangled with children. She utterly refused. Not once did she volunteer to babysit, or devote a single second of her precious time to any person more than four years younger than herself. Kids really weren’t in the picture.

 

Of course, becoming involved with Cassian slowly changed her mind as Jyn saw, moment by moment, that maybe - just maybe - kids weren’t so terrible after all, and having them with Cassian could be nice. Great, even.

 

Then it actually happened, and Jyn truly realized her affinity for children. Lyra as an infant truly changed her opinion, as her daughter was the sweetest baby Jyn ever had the pleasure of meeting. But, and she was perfectly clear, it would only ever be Lyra in their lives. One child was more than enough, especially on their salaries. And if their daughter received half of Jyn’s affection for mayhem, they were set for a great deal of trouble.

 

And then Jyn became pregnant for a second time, and her world view shifted once again. A sibling for Lyra would not only be beneficial for their daughter, but Jyn realized that a second child would bring great joy to them all. When she lost the baby, she was devastated. She attempted everything in her power to prevent herself from becoming pregnant again, but it was to no avail. Looking back, she realizes it was for the best; she isn’t sure what she’d do in her life without Sebastián in her life. People who claim a part of them was missing before meeting their child piss her off to no end, but if he and Lyra were to be taken away now, her entire heart would be ripped from her chest and squeezed until only dust remained. Life without her children is unimaginable.

 

Still, she insisted that two was plenty. Neither kid can be lonely, Jyn can experience immense happiness each day, and no one is out-numbered. Each day she’s thankful for her family, and each day she wishes it will never change.

 

For five years, there’s a balance, a harmony, a routine. There’s just Jyn and Cassian caring for their two children, Lyra and Sebastián; kissing away their nightmares and standing up to the tantrums; observing and noting their habits, their favorite objects and foods, how to calm them and when to stop teasing to avoid tears; loving them to the best of their abilities, each and every day.

 

Until Cassian returns home, so stressed he’s physically shaking, and brings up a thought Jyn would have never had on her own.

 

“How would you feel about a third child?”

 

Jyn is so taken aback by this proposition, she begins to feel faint. Five years have passed since Sebastián was born, and not once have either of them mentioned another kid in anything more than a passing, “we are never having another one.”

 

Cassian then takes the time to explain his current predicament, and why he’s bringing it up. She learns that there was a case involving weapon smuggling in a bad neighbourhood that went south. Cassian was there to hack into the gang’s servers and gain access to their financial records, emails, everything. Some gang members showed up unexpectedly, and he ran like a bat out of hell. The records weren’t worth getting killed over. At the same time he escaped, a young woman was pushing her infant son in his stroller, headed for the nearby park. A gang member followed Cassian into the street and started shooting. He missed Cassian, but hit the mother. The bullet grazed her heart, and she had just enough time to pass on enough information about her son before bleeding out.

 

“And now there’s this little boy she entrusted to me. I can’t leave him, Jyn. I know the system, and I can’t let him enter it. Not unless I know there’s a family willing to adopt him. And I need that to be us.”

 

An hour passes as he makes his case, going on about the foster care system and being abandoned by his parents, and Jyn only lets him go on because it’s the first time he’s ever really opened up about his childhood. She knows if he cuts him off, he’ll never mention it again.

 

“Let’s talk to the kids first. See what they have to say.” Jyn wants to say yes, but it’s not just the two of them. It hasn’t been for eight years, really, when they found out about Lyra.

 

He nods, trying to keep a smile on his face for her, but the fire in his eyes is dying. He really wants this, and not having a straight answer is killing him.

 

As always, Lyra and Sebastián are playing in the backyard, swinging from the monkey bars and climbing up the large maple tree. They’re fairly easy to talk to, and both become ecstatic with the news of a new brother. Jyn and Cassian return to the living room, grins on their faces.

 

“That settles it,” Jyn decides. “We’re having another kid.”

 

Cassian looks at her, lust in his eyes. “Why don’t we go celebrate?”

 

And celebrate they do.

 

* * *

 

 

They celebrate Finn’s adoption with a party, inviting all of their friends and family to welcome the newest addition to the Erso-Andor clan. The adoption process was long and arduous, with lots of paperwork and inspections and meetings with social workers. A celebration has been long-awaited.

 

Everyone welcomes Finn with open arms, mostly because he’s still small enough to be held and they all agree that he’s a very cute baby. The most excited - besides Lyra - is Jyn’s father, who has made his thoughts on a third grandchild very well known for the past few years. Galen hogs the little boy for upwards of an hour before finally passing him off to Cassian.

 

From the kitchen, Jyn watches her husband interact with the little boy. He’s tickling Finn’s little feet, laughing along with the infant’s giggles. To an outsider, it looks as though they’ve been family since the day of Finn’s birth. He fits in so well, and is loved by so many, it almost feels like it, which makes Jyn happy. Her son deserves a family, and finding him one with hers fills her heart with joy.

 

“He's so adorable. I remember when Ben was that age.”

 

Turning around, Jyn comes face to face with a reminiscing Leia. On the other woman's hip is little Rey, her fourteen-month-old daughter. Rey babbles, sticking her fist in her mouth like all children do, and Jyn is reminded of Finn four months ago, doing the same thing.

 

“Ben's only four. It hasn't been that long,” Jyn points out.

 

“But they grow up so quickly. It feels like just yesterday I got married, and now my son's going to school in the fall!”

 

Jyn nods. She remembers Lyra’s first day of school, and how surreal it was. Sebastián’s had been ever worse, because for the first time since moving in with Cassian, Jyn had been alone. Even K2 had been out, on a playdate with Chewie and C-3PO. The house had been silent, save for the dishwasher running quietly in the kitchen. As a parent, silence is only good at night, when the kids are safely tucked in bed. Having a peaceful house during the day meant trouble, and it took a while for Jyn to grow accustomed to her new schedule.

 

“At least I still got a few more baby days now,” she says, nodding to her younger son, who has now been passed to her father. “I never realized how much I loved infants until Sebastián started potty-training.”

 

“Better make them last. Finn isn’t far from his terrible twos. Neither is Rey, for that matter.”

 

“I plan on it, because these will be my last.” Jyn smiles bittersweetly. Babies are adorable and so much fun, but she’s getting older, and three kids will be more than enough. Especially if Lyra doesn’t lose the sass before hitting puberty.

 

With that, Jyn bids her friend adieu and makes her way to where her family has gathered in the dining room. Instantly, her father places Finn in her arms.

 

“He was getting fussy. I think he missed his mother.”

 

Jyn smiles. “Is that right? Did you miss me?” she asks Finn, tickling the soles of his feet. His adorable giggles echo throughout the room, warming Jyn’s heart. She’s glad they had originally decided against a third child, because otherwise, they might not have brought this beautiful child into their family, and that would be a sin.

 

“Mama!” Finn exclaims, smiling his toothy smile.

 

“That’s right, baby,” she whispers. “I’m your mama.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I have a plan for this I promise I'm just a slacker who can't write quickly. Finn has more importance than just randomly showing up because I want him to. Though that's most of it tbh I love my son very much.)


	14. October 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Throwing it back to a quiet moment a month after Lyra's birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present to you this short and plotless chapter I managed to eek out in about an hour, maybe less? Not my best work but I wasn't going for very much. Inspired slightly by my cousin's adorable three-month-old and a sentence I had written for a different idea I had. The next update will probably be another really cute baby one, this time with a smiley, giggly three-month-old, but I can't promise that will be up anytime soon as it's not been started and I am down to three weeks left of school including exams so I'm going to be a little stressed and pressed for time. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy! I'll be back with another update sometime kinda soon.

Jyn Erso is exhausted. 

 

No, scratch that - she’s bone-achingly, mind-numbingly, drop-dead exhausted. She’s pretty sure she can taste sounds at this point. 

 

And it’s all because of her beautiful daughter.

 

It’s been a month since they brought Lyra home from the hospital, and it’s been a month of no sleep. Jyn honestly can’t remember the last time she slept for more than an hour at a time. They say to sleep when the baby sleeps, but little cat naps have never done much for Jyn. She’ll wake to Lyra crying for more food or a diaper change feeling refreshed, but it won’t help the ache in her bones at the end of the day. Lyra needing to be fed and changed every or so isn’t making it any better.

 

Their day usually goes something like this: Lyra will wake up every hour to hour and a half throughout the night, begging for food or wailing about her full diaper, before Jyn and Cassian get out of bed at seven. Then, while Lyra sleeps, they grab a quick breakfast and Cassian showers so he can get to work for eight-thirty. Jyn spends the rest of the day napping and feeding Lyra until Cassian arrives home and she’s free to shower. Their nights are spent eating a quiet supper and bonding with their daughter until it’s nine o’clock and they head to bed under the false pretense of sleeping through the night. Rinse and repeat. 

 

It’s exhausting, yes, but worth every second when Lyra quiets and stares up with her big brown eyes, smiling her adorable toothless smile, and Jyn feels utterly and completely in love with the tiny monster. Everyone says that their life truly begins when they hold their child for the first time, and Jyn will gladly attest to the truth of the statement. Every horrible moment of her life, every moment she wished for death upon her enemies or herself, has been overshadowed by the adoration she has for her daughter. Nothing compares to the joy of holding the sleeping infant in her arms and watching her dream. The long nights, the sore everything, the fatigue, the dirty laundry - it will all be forgotten eventually. But watching her daughter, admiring the tiny human she helped make, is something that will always be remembered.

 

“She’s down,” Cassian announces quietly one evening, tiptoeing out of Lyra’s room. With his week-old scruff, raggedy pajama pants, and the traces of spit-up in his greasy hair, he’s looking a little worse for wear, but Jyn knows she’s much the same in her ripped shirt and booty shorts. “Not for long, though. You should try to nap before she wakes up hungry.”

 

Jyn is completely drained, but she can’t find the desire to sleep just yet. “I think I’m going to stay up for a bit. We haven’t had many quiet moments lately.”

 

Cassian shrugs. “If you say so.” He takes a seat beside Jyn on the crumb-covered couch, reaching behind their heads for the blanket throwing over the back and spreads it across their legs. 

 

Neither speak for a long while, choosing instead to enjoy the peace. The calm after a storm, Cassian always says. Since arriving home with Lyra in tow, their relationship has been put on the backburner. They’re officially engaged now, a fact of which Jyn is constantly reminded of by the bright diamond sitting on her finger, though no one would ever know. There’s no time to plan a wedding while caring for an infant, and Jyn wonders if there ever will be. Eventually their vows will be said, though she’s not entirely sure if it will be in a proper ceremony or at the courthouse. At this point, she kind of wants to say “fuck it” and drag Cassian down to City Hall tomorrow. But then she remembers their plans to have Lyra as the flower girl and she decides that she can wait a year or two. She’d wait forever if it meant marrying Cassian.

 

Jyn, during the few quiet moments she manages to find with her fiancé, always thinks of how lucky she is to love him. So much in her life could have caused her death, and yet, here she is, with a daughter and a fiancé and a dog, with a life she never believed would be hers.

 

“I love you. You know that?” she asks, shifting into Cassian’s side. Reflexively, he wraps an arm around her shoulder and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

 

“I know.”

 

They fall asleep not long after, tangled up on the hard couch with the holey blanket, content to be in each other’s arms. Life can wait another day. For now, they sleep.


	15. August 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little look into an average, special day in the Erso-Andor household. Ft; a giggly six-month-old, an energetic toddler, and Cassian thinking while also not really thinking at all. FLUFF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been . . . three weeks now?
> 
> (I just checked my calendar and it's only been two but it feels like three months.)
> 
> I threw this together in an hour because plot is escaping me these days. Also I was at my cousin's house last night and her son has the most adorable laugh so I was inspired. I also said three-month-old Sebastian and that was the plan but then I did some math and made him six months. Anyways expect a lot more chapters like this (dumb, plotless fluff) because it's almost summer and I plan on writing a lot but I can't write plot so we get fluff instead.
> 
> enjoy this rare update and I'll be back in the next week, after I finish exams and inevitably get killed by Wonder Woman (which I will be seeing for the first time so no spoilers!)

It’s a quiet Saturday morning in the middle of August when Cassian is awoken by the sound of laughter coming in from the kitchen. Outside, the sun shines brightly in a cloudless blue sky, birds chirping their happy songs as they bask in the warm spring air. Beside his pillow, his phone lays silent and still, and the charger sits an inch away. In his exhaustion, he must have forgotten to plug the device in after crawling under the cover, so his alarm failed to sound and he slept in for an extra - he looks up at the blinking numbers of the alarm clock across the room and sighs. The storm from the night before must have knocked out the power and reset the time. He could have overslept by five hours and would be none the wiser at this point.

 

Mind still groggy from his extended nap, he slowly pushes himself up, slipping on his discarded shirt. (He remembers taking it off right after ripping off Jyn’s tank-top, but that’s his last memory before falling asleep.  _ Damn _ , he really is getting old if he’s falling asleep  _ before  _ the sex.) Quietly, he tiptoes the five feet to the kitchen entrance and peeks his head around the corner, heart swooning at the scene playing out before him.

 

In the breakfast nook, Jyn has Sebastián’s back against her chest, allowing the curious child to see the world around him. Standing on a chair a foot away, unruly hair falling out of her braids as she parades around in nothing but her overalls, and smiling goofily at her brother is Lyra. The toddler’s funny faces elicit adorable giggles from the six-month-old, and Cassian can’t help the grin that spreads across his face. Even the most cold-hearted man would melt at the sound of a baby laughing.

 

Ever so slightly, Cassian moves forward, toes inching up the hardwood to allow a better view of his family. Beneath his feet, the floorboards give a low creak, and Lyra whips her head around to peer in his direction. A flash of recognition crosses her face, and she’s hopping off the chair to run to him before he can think to step back. (He isn’t trying to hide from his family, but some days, he likes to enjoy these precious moments from afar.)

 

“Daddy!” Lyra squeals, bare feet slapping the kitchen tile. Attention focused on the new arrival, Jyn shifts ‘Bastián into a better position on her arms before following in their daughter’s footsteps. 

 

“For a few minutes I was convinced you had died,” Jyn jokes, chuckling lightly. “What happened to the early bird catches the worm?”

 

He shrugs, hands absent-mindedly running over Lyra’s head as the little girl squeezes his legs in a tight hug. “I guess the early bird decided that he likes catching up on sleep more than worms.”

 

In his wife’s arms, Sebastián has started squirming, hands grabbing at Cassian, though he’s standing too far away for his son to latch onto to anything except thin air. Extending his arms, he reaches for the infant and lifts him high up in the air before bringing him back, close to his chest. ‘Bastián adores his father, and has since birth. Just like his sister, that one. But while his daughter has a strong attachment to him, his son is much more equal with his love for his parents. Both Jyn and Cassian can easily calm him or bring a smile to his face, though he secretly wonders if Jyn will push for a third child so they will be a true mama’s boy or girl. His wife has never shown to be jealous that their daughter shows him more affection, as she knows the girl really does love them both equally, but Cassian knows she might appreciate having a child who calls out for her in the middle of the night, and begs for her to play with them. (And Cassian wouldn’t object to another child in the future. It will have to be after Sebastián is a little older, though, because he refuses to have another baby in need of constant attention before his son can walk and talk on his own.)

 

“Daddy, play with me!” exclaims Lyra, drawing him out of his mind with a tug on his pants.

 

With a quick look to Jyn, who smiles softly and gives a quick nod of her head, he finds his answer. “Only if you promise to share with your brother.”

 

Lyra quickly runs off in the direction of the back door, not bothering to wait for her father. Behind her, K2 bounds up and noses open the door, following the toddler as they rush onto the porch.

 

Jyn leans over and presses a quick kiss to Cassian’s lips. Even after three and a half years together, she never fails to ignite a spark of desire within him. It would have been quite easy for their fire to burn out after Lyra’s birth, but Cassian is pleased to say he’s never felt more in love with his wife. ( _ God,  _ it’s still so strange to call her his wife. His  _ wife _ . Marrying Jyn used to be a pipe dream, a fantasy. She wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship, and Cassian had learned to accept it. But now they have two kids and a house together, and he wears a gold band on his left ring finger every day, for  _ her. _ For his  _ wife. _ )

 

“Happy anniversary,” she whispers.

 

“Happy anniversary.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (edit: I just realized, like, a month after posting this that the beginning says June even though I dated the chapter in August and I feel really stupid but its fixed now and I can go back to smashing my head on my keyboard because writer's block is inconvenient.)


	16. March 2026

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected guest shows up right before Finn's second birthday, and Cassian's background is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? A chapter two days after the last one? It's simply unheard of! But I decided to write this instead of studying for my exams and finished it fairly quickly. Also you all should be proud because I actually wrote a Plot!!!
> 
> And i somehow managed to keep my promise that Finn wasn't just thrown in for shits and giggles, because he (well, his backstory) contributes to the story now!
> 
> This is pretty much just Cassian-centric, but I had this idea earlier (like six months ago when I first started writing this) and I just kind of . . . evolved the idea, I guess. Anyways I hope you like this! There will be plenty more where this came from sometime in the next month.
> 
> Just for reference, btw, Lyra is 8 1/2, Sebastian 6, and Finn 2

As a child, Cassian was left an orphan after the death of his mother and grew up in the system, as his grandmother was too ill to care for him. His father had been killed years before, shot on the job by a gang member. Neither of his parents had siblings or other children, at least none that Cassian was aware of, and his grandmother remained his only living relative for twelve years.

 

So, when a woman shows up on his doorstep claiming to be his long-lost sister, he’s a little suspicious.

 

The day is a normal Saturday in March, cool but clear, and they’re setting up for Finn’s birthday party. As it’s his first birthday as an Erso-Andor, Jyn is going all out with decorations and gifts. Green streamers have been strung from the ceilings, balloons tied to every possible surface, banners reading ‘Happy 2nd Birthday’ taped to the walls. Though St. Patrick’s Day and Finn’s birthday passed on the Tuesday, four-leaf clovers and pots of gold decorate the doors and windows. It’s so over the top and _green,_ Cassian wonders if a leprechaun threw up on their house.

 

Cassian has been left home with Lyra and ‘Bastián while Jyn takes Finn down to the local bakery to pick up his cake, and is in the process of preparing the punch when the rarely-heard ring of the doorbell sounds through the house. Figuring it’s a guest arriving early, Cassian tasks his daughter with stirring the punch while he answers the door.

 

He’s expecting to see Leia and Han with their two troublemakers in tow, or Kes and Poe holding a gift taller than the birthday boy, maybe even Luke and Bodhi and their dogs. Instead, he’s met with an unfamiliar woman in a designer jacket and pearls. Her long, dark hair is perfectly styled in an elegant and elaborate braid, reminding him of Jyn’s hair on their wedding day. The fact she’s achieved this look on an average day speaks volumes of her character and the money he’s assuming she comes from. A flash of red on the sole of her heels spark a memory of Jyn lusting after a pair of Louboutins and the insane amount of numbers on the price tag. (Who can afford to spend $800 on a pair of shoes?! This woman, clearly, which, again, speaks volumes about her character.)

 

Suspicious, Cassian narrows his eyes. “Can I help you?”

 

“Are you Cassian Andor?”

 

“Erso-Andor,” he corrects out of habit, though he realizes the omittance of his wife’s name is of little import in his current situation. This woman appears too rich to care about a middle-class man’s name preferences. “What can I do for you?”

 

Nervously, she wrings her gloved hands. She opens her mouth to speak, but snaps it shut and shakes her head. Reaching into her purse, she pulls out a small photo, frayed around the edges and yellowed from the abuse of time. It’s an old-fashioned polaroid, the year written in black pen on the white border. 1992. A baby, maybe about a year old, sits between two older children. The family resemblance is faint but still there, in the shape of the jaw and the brow. All three are smiling widely, as though caught mid-laugh. “This is the only photo I have of my family. When I was three, my father died, and I was separated from my younger brother. His mother took him to live in Mexico City, while mine took my sister and I to live in the America. For years, I’ve searched for my brother, hoping to reunite our families.”

 

Cassian’s smart enough to make the connection before she can continue her explanation. “And you think I’m your brother?” It’s an absurd question, one that seems impossible. Neither his mother nor his grandmother mentioned siblings, and all photos of him as a child are of him alone, no sisters whatsoever. But what does this woman want with him, then? Clearly not money, that’s certain. His credit is good, sure, but she wouldn’t visit him if she wants to steal his identity. They have no antiques or valuables anyone outside of their family could want. She’s definitely not an ex looking for revenge.

 

“I _know_  you’re my brother,” she argues, and her tone reminds him of Lyra. “Your name is Cassian Jeron Andor Rosales. Your mother is Mariana Rosales Diaz. Our father was José Andor Castellano, who died a week after your first birthday.”

 

Tears spring to his eyes, threatening to fall like rain in the heavy, grey clouds above. “Was.” His voice is soft, quiet. Broken.

 

The woman pauses, tilting her head curiously. “What?”

 

“Was. My mother _was_ Mariana Rosales Diaz.” The words catch in his throat, and he has to choke them out. It took months of building up courage to suggest Mariana as Lyra’s middle name, and for his mother to be brought up, out of the blue, catches him off guard. It’s a touchy subject for him, surrounded by resentment and guilt he refuses to talk about. “She - she died when I was six.”

 

“I’m so sorry. I - I had no idea.” It’s an empathetic apology, sincere. It’s an apology from someone who understands him, his situation. “But she was your mother. I at least had that right.”

 

Cassian sighs heavily, feeling the weight of his grief pressing into his shoulders. It’s not something he’s felt in a long while, since Jyn was pregnant with Lyra, but its heaviness is familiar. “You did.”

 

“I know I must seem crazy, but give me a chance to explain it all. And if you’re still not convinced, I’ll leave you alone. I promise.”

 

He _is_ intrigued, he must admit, but inviting a strange woman into his home on the afternoon of his son’s birthday party isn’t his best option. At this point, however, it’s the only one he’s willing to offer. Kicking her out without listening to her story seems too rude, and she’s standing right in front of him. “You have until two o’clock. But I can’t let you in until you tell me your name.” He at least needs to know how to introduce her if his kids ask.

 

“Catalina.” She extends her right hand expectantly, and Cassian accepts the handshake to be polite, but skepticism is running rampant in his mind. “Catalina Andor Santiago.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He leads her to the dining room, motioning for her to sit at one end of the rarely-used table while he takes the other. Out of the corner of his eye, Cassian sees Lyra digging through the fridge with her brother, and he lets out a sharp but teasing shout for them to step away from the food. Catalina lets out a little snicker, like Sebastián when Lyra gets in trouble. (Maybe there is some family resemblance, but a laugh proves nothing. Yet.)

 

“Do you have any kids?” he asks in an attempt to be polite. Small talk is not his style, but this is quickly moving into uncharted territory, and that calls for atypical behaviour.

 

Catalina brightens, her lips turning up in pride. “A son, actually. Francisco. He turns three next month.”

 

“Don’t be fooled by his cuteness,” Cassian warns. “At that age, they’re nothing but trouble. Lyra entered into her coloring phase two weeks after her third birthday. There was so much crayon on the walls after four months that we had to repaint the living room.” And by _we_ , Cassian really means _him_ , as Jyn had been eight months pregnant by this point and couldn’t do much except offer moral support. He still scowls at the walls every time he walks into the house because of all the grief they caused him. “But we’re not here to talk about that.”

 

“No, of course not. I’ll start from the beginning, then.”

 

Her story surprises him, shifts his perception of her as a person from a rich, careless girl to a broken-hearted, fortunate woman. The woman he’d previously assumed to be the wife of some Wall Street jackass turns out to be a social worker married to a neurosurgeon famous for her work in treating patients with ALS. At the age of three, days after the passing of her father, Catalina and her sister, Alma, moved with their mother to San Diego. Poverty was always a possibility, a threat, with their mother having to work three jobs to pay for their over-priced apartment while caring for a three and five-year-old. They lived there for fifteen years, up until she moved away to attend Stanford University. But Catalina doesn’t tell it as a sob story, nor is she looking for sympathy. She’s proud of her past, of all the hard work it’s taken to get up to her level.

 

He learns that through her job, and as a volunteer with an organization that supports single mothers in low-income communities, Catalina was introduced to Finn and his mother when the child was a month old and formed a close bond with the pair. When Finn’s mother was first shot, she’d been the one assigned to the case, but felt too close to the situation and had herself removed. After hearing of potential parents, however, she looked into the case file and discovered Cassian’s name, which renewed her interest in her long-lost brother. Months of searching through confidential files and databases have led her here, and Cassian is impressed by her dedication to the matter if nothing else.

 

But he remains skeptical. Rightfully so, really. A woman he’s never met knocks on his door and tells a story, expecting him to remember a sister he supposedly lost as a baby. Seems like the plot of a thriller, not a warm-hearted Disney movie Catalina wants it to be.

 

“How can I trust you’re telling the truth?”

 

“What would I gain from showing up to a stranger’s house and telling them I’m their long lost sister? Not sympathy, not money. Only a call to the police. I wouldn’t have risked it if I wasn’t so sure about this, Cassian.”

 

She _does_ have a point. But it could be an excuse created for the exact purpose of tricking him. Though Catalina does appear to be sincere in her story, Cassian remains wary. So, he poses her a question, “If I had a sister, why would my mother keep them a secret from me?”

 

“My mother never married my father, though they had two children. Claimed he was too afraid of commitment, needed an out in case things got rough. But six months after they split up, when I was only three months old, my father met your mother. They were married in three months, and you were born a year later. Our mothers hated each other, so it’s no surprise she never told you.” Catalina smiles, melancholic and bittersweet. “But no one could take away my memories of you, of my own brother.”

 

That . . . actually makes sense. But it still doesn’t prove it’s the truth. Cassian wants to believe her, wants to reconnect with his long-lost sister, but he’d be foolish to do so without further thought. After all, he has kids and a wife to think of. If this ends in a mess, they’ll be affected too.

 

A flash of disappointment crosses her face. “You still don’t believe me,” she states, the corners of her lips turning down. “I can prove it to you, if you’ll let me.”

 

“I’m sorry, Catalina, but you have to understand: I’ve lived thirty-five years without any memory of a sister. But if you think you can convince me still, I won’t stop you.”

 

In a low, quiet voice, she begins to sing a soft melody, a lullaby if Cassian ever heard one. The words are smooth, flowing. He remembers his mother’s voice, singing in quiet Spanish after he had a nightmare, or trouble falling asleep. The melody is familiar, comforting, soothing. He never learned the words, but it’s the same song he used to quiet his fussing children. Still uses, actually, when ‘Bastián has a nightmare or Finn won’t settle down.

 

One memory, taking up a single moment in time, is dredged up from the pits of his past. Someone is singing to him, singing this very same lullaby, but it isn’t his mother. No, the voice is too high-pitched, too young. The image of a young girl - the young girl from the old polaroid - stroking his hair, smiling down at him flashes through his mind.

 

Cassian rattles off in enthusiastic Spanish before his brain can fully register the truth. He has a sister! Two half-sisters, technically, but he shrugs off the technicalities as unnecessary semantics. Now beaming joyfully, Catalina rushes up to Cassian and throws her arms around him in a tight, warm embrace. Comfort and happiness overtake every cell in his body, every thought in his mind. Only in his wildest dreams as a child did he imagine a sibling to play with, to love and hate, to share a close, unbreakable familial bond. And now it’s been made reality and he’s so _happy_. Only his wife and children have ever brought on a joy to this same extreme.

 

“What’s going on here?”

 

His wife’s voice startles Cassian out of the hug. Her eyes are narrowed in suspicion, lips quirked downwards in a frown. Finn rests on her hip, little arms dangling by his side. Peeking in from the kitchen are Lyra and Sebastián, eyes wide with curiosity.

 

Cassian steps back, motioning to his sister as she gives a small wave. “This is Catalina Andor Santiago,” he introduces, chest swelling with joy. “My sister.”

 

In their nine and a half years together, Jyn has learned to trust Cassian. Very rarely does she argue against his decisions, and vice versa, because they understand that the other only wants what’s best. So, with his announcement of his sister, Jyn simply shrugs and says, “Welcome to the family,” before hoisting Finn higher onto her hip and padding off into his recently-finished room created out of the garage.

 

From the kitchen, the remaining two kids rush up to the new woman, jabbering a mile a minute.

 

“Are you our auntie now?”

 

“How come I’ve never seen you before?”

 

“Do you like the Power Rangers?”

 

“You’re really pretty.”

 

“What about Disney?”

 

“Can I braid your hair?”

 

“Will you play with me?”

 

“Are you married? Do we have any cousins?”

 

“Are you staying for the party?”

 

Catalina takes their questions in stride, answering as quickly as they’re asked. “Yes, I am. I’ve been away. I do. Thank you. I love Disney too. Yes, I would love that. In a few minutes. I am, and you do. If your parents are okay with it, I’d love to stay.”

 

Expectantly, Lyra and Sebastián look up at Cassian, eyes silently pleading. Never one to refuse his children, Cassian smiles and says, “That’s a great idea.”

 

She ends up staying for the whole party, where Cassian introduces her to all of their friends and family with pride, but leaves after cleanup despite being invited to stay forever. Still, she promises to return shortly with her wife and son, and exchanges numbers with Cassian so they can keep in touch.

 

“I’m not losing you again,” she says, typing her number into his phone. “Thirty-five years apart is long enough.”

 

“Yes,” he agrees, “It really is.”


	17. 2021-2023

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn decides to go back to college. Cuteness and stress ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first all, this spans the two years of Jyn's program, hence the lack of months in the chapter title. Also, this program is based off of one I read about for five minutes from the University of Calgary, where you can take a two year B.Ed if you already have a degree from a list of specific subjects. Jyn's is English.
> 
> Second, I realized that I made a mistake last chapter in regards to Cassian's family because I had originally said he was in the foster care system. That's been fixed now, thankfully.
> 
> Third, I actually really enjoyed writing this. I'd always kept Jyn's job really vague, but now I get to go into specifics and I have a cute chapter planned out so watch out for that one in the next month or two.
> 
> Fourth, I finished my only two exams today so I'm officially on summer vacation! Expect more frequent updates as I spend my days holed up in my room screaming over my ships.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Jyn decides, right after Sebastián’s first birthday, that she wants to go back to school. A simple degree in English will get her nowhere, and being the CEO’s secretary is exhausting and annoying. Especially when he’s trying to get into her pants. No one treats her with any respect anymore, least of all her boss, and the rumors of late-night office sex and illicit affairs are really pissing her off. Plus the office is in the center of the city, a good hour’s drive during rush hour, and she’d really appreciate spending more time with her kids. Sebastián’s at the age where he can actually  _ do  _ things, like walk and babble and play with toys, and Jyn hates to miss such an exciting time. 

 

It takes a week of working up enough courage for Jyn to tell her husband. In the end, it’s her own decision, but his support would be nice to have. Juggling school, two kids, and an angry husband is a little much, even for her expert multi-tasking skills. But Cassian is very supportive when she shares this, offering to research schools and rearrange his schedule to be better for child-corralling while she’s in class. He drives her to open houses and campus tours, budgets their money to allow for the cost of tuition and books, and is full of encouragement whenever she needs it.

 

One day in late March, he’s asking a thousand and one questions to their guide as she takes them around campus, giving general directions and explaining the history and program opportunities the university offers. Lyra’s sitting on his hip, one hand supporting her weight while the other pushes Sebastián’s stroller, and he isn’t even breaking a sweat. As they turn a corner, Jyn stops for a moment and watches her husband, wondering how in the hell she could ever be so lucky. She has a husband who loves and supports her, who has total faith in everything she does, and two beautiful, perfect kids. Shitty job aside, Jyn can’t ask for anything else from life, because she’s  _ happy _ .

 

Their guide turns the corner, and Jyn is drawn out from her peaceful moment, but it’s alright. She has plenty more years to admire her family.

 

At the end of the tour, after talking with different advisors, Jyn confirms her enrollment in the school for a two-year B.Ed program. Out of every school they’ve visited, this one works the best for her and her family’s needs, and she’s very proud to don the sweatshirt Cassian buys from the bookstore. He asks the cashier to take a picture of them in front of the logo, all in their sweaters and hats. Or onesie, in Sebastián’s case. The best picture has Lyra on Jyn’s hip and ‘Bastián in Cassian’s arms, with Jyn looking straight at the camera and blushing as her husband presses a kiss to her cheek.

 

The next day, she heads to Wal-mart to buy a frame and print a few copies of the picture. 

 

It’s hanging in the hall before dinner.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**YEAR 1**

 

Her first semester starts in September, and it’s a real kick in the pants. Classes are  _ hard _ , harder than she remembers, though that may have to do with taking a four year break in between programs. Dealing with child care and the schedule of an FBI agent while worrying about  _ her  _ schedule isn’t helping any, either. Required reading, quizzes and tests, papers upon papers - Jyn barely has time to  _ eat _ , let alone be a  _ parent  _ and a  _ wife. _ Thankfully, they have more than a few willing friends on speed dial if a babysitter is, at any point, needed, but it still sucks. She’s doing this for her kid, yet manages to see them  _ less  _ than before.

 

It’s going to be a rough year.

 

Age wise, Jyn is near the older end of the spectrum compared to the rest of her class, and it shows. Many are twenty-four year olds who realized just a little too late that they wanted to add a teaching degree to their studies as well, while she’s been in the workforce for four years already. And, despite the few that are married, none have added kids to their list of responsibility yet, adding another differentiating factor between Jyn and everyone else. But, she manages to befriend a few folks, mostly the married ones, and classes are made bearable.

 

She still hates studying though, and that’s a habit she can trace back to middle school. She won’t ever get rid of it. 

 

Midterms suck, but she passes them all and keeps up her average, which is a nice change when compared to high school. Following midterms is two weeks of field experience  _ and  _ Halloween, so her life revolves around sugar-high children both at school and home for the week following the holiday.

 

Her weekends are spent with her kids, because she refuses to sacrifice time with them for an extra hour of studying when she knows how to run on three hours of sleep. Papers and assignments are completed at night and during the weekdays, between classes. It sucks some days, when Cassian’s been working late all week and he’s finally home for dinner but she’s holed up in their room, frantically typing out essays. Those are the worst, because no matter how much time she sets aside for Lyra and Sebastián, Cassian always seems to be left out.

 

Exams are stressful but over quickly, and she’s free for a month. Christmas is spent at home, nestled under covers while the kids are sleeping or watching holiday movies when they aren’t. They buy a real Christmas tree, outfitted with twinkling lights and sparkling ornaments, complete with a golden star on top. Cassian takes them to Mass on Christmas Eve, as is their tradition, before they head to the Solos' for their famous holiday party. By the time they pull into the driveway, both kids are passed out in their car seats, so Jyn and Cassian haul them up to bed before pulling out the presents from Santa. Neither get to sleep until after midnight and are promptly awoken at six by a babbling Lyra, but the exhaustion is worth the look on their kids’ faces.

 

A new year means another semester of classes, and Jyn drags herself out of bed on the first day and drives through the icy streets to make her eight-a.m. class in time. A few icy corners aside, she arrives unscathed and ready for another three months of classes.

 

Her optimism is killed halfway through her first class.

 

Summer can’t come soon enough.

 

Much like the first semester, her second semester flies by in a blur of assignments and stress, but she manages. They celebrate Sebastián’s second birthday a day early, so the party falls on the weekend and Jyn has no classes. She has to take her one day of excused absence during her two weeks of field experience for Luke and Bodhi’s wedding, but the joy of seeing her best (platonic) friend walk down the aisle is worth every second. And if she drinks a little much that night and spends the weekend nursing a hangover instead of studying for a test, well. Her professors don’t need to know.

 

End of exams are celebrated with a week-long trip to her father’s farm for her kids and a week of private time at home for the adults. The year’s been tough on them all, and a break from responsibility is just what Jyn needs. 

 

The sex is just an added bonus.

 

But summer can’t last forever, and soon, Jyn’s being woken up by her impatient daughter on the first day of school and watching as the little girl runs off with her class.

 

And thus begins another year.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**YEAR 2**

 

Her second and final year isn’t all too different from the first, class wise. It’s a little harder, but nothing Jyn can’t handle. Her study habits have been perfected, time scheduled easily, priorities straightened out. Nothing can hold her back anymore.

 

The days progress much like before, with Midterms, field placements, and Halloween falling around the same times before exams and Christmas nudge their way onto the schedule. Little problems push things around slightly, but no major travesties occur and Jyn completes everything professional and personal right on time.

 

New Year’s is regrettable, with the whole family driving up to her father’s farm, only for a blizzard to pass through and prolong their stay. They pull into the driveway at nine o’clock the night before Lyra’s first day back. Jyn is incredibly thankful her first class isn’t until the next week.

 

Her final semester is a blur. One month becomes the next until it’s the end of May and she’s walking across the stage and receiving her degree. In the crowd, she sees Lyra sitting atop her father’s shoulders as her family cheers her on, and she can’t help the grin that crosses her face.

 

She did it. She, Jyn Lianna Erso-Andor, has graduated with a Bachelor’s of Education while raising two kids and being a wife. If only her high school teachers could see her now. (Actually, a few did last week when she and Cassian attended her ten-year reunion, but it’s officially official with today’s ceremony.)

 

The photo they take on the lawn, Sebastián on her hip, Lyra standing in front, and Cassian by her side, eyes shining with pride and adoration, is hung up right next to the first picture, with them in their matching sweaters, for all to see.

 

That night, as she’s lying in bed, head resting on Cassian’s chest while his fingers thread through her hair, she remembers how incredibly lucky she is to have the support system she does.

 

“I love you,” she whispers, saying everything with those three little words. 

 

A beat. A kiss on her head. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also a little backstory because idk if i'll get around to writing one anytime soon, but Luke and Wedge were dating when Leia got married (hence the line about Luke ogling Wedge in that chapter) but now they have broken up (amicably because I still need them to be friends) so it's now Luke and Bodhi together forever. because I am trash. also Bodhi/Galen in this verse felt too weird and Luke is the only other person I ship him with so here we are.


	18. July 2026

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian's oldest sister arrives. Cue mini-Family Reunion!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so . . . it's been a while. Writer's block is a bitch, that's all I can say.
> 
> this is from an outsider's POV because it was the only way I could think of words to write. there will also be a follow-up chapter at some point because some plot points are kinda left hanging and I'm going to finish those up but it's been almost a month and I felt like you deserved an update.
> 
> anyways, please enjoy!

Alma was expecting a call from her sister and was pleased when her phone began ringing with the familiar tone of an incoming FaceTime call. What she was _not_ expecting was to see Catalina joined by a strange man, nor the excited yells from kids in the background and a British woman admonishing them for their volume. Even more surprising was her sister’s explanation that the strange man was really their long lost brother, Cassian. Alma burst out laughing the second her sister finished speaking because what are the chances of her _actually_ finding their brother after nearly thirty-five years? Practically nothing, and Alma should know; she has a fucking Ph.D. in Mathematics from MIT. Numbers are her _thing._

 

And yet, Catalina was ready with proof and a plea for Alma to trust her, and she does so, begrudgingly.

 

So, here she is; scrambling to control her four untravelled kids as they debark the plane that flew them across the country so they can meet their (supposed) uncle and cousins. Alma will admit she’s been in desperate need of a vacation, but she’d thought of a trip to Italy or Brazil _without_ her kids and _with_ her fiancé. But no, Alex has to work and her kids are off school and Catalina _begged_ for them to fly out, leaving Alma at her wit’s end and _this_ close to strangling someone. Maybe her moody daughter if she won’t stop complaining about the lack of cell service in a concrete building.

 

(She’s booking a month off work for her honeymoon now. The kids can stay with Catalina, or maybe her brother, if she’s feeling petty.)

 

The twins are shoving each other with significant force for a pair of five-year-olds, Penny’s wandering off, lost in her own thoughts, and Katy’s scowling at everyone who passes, twirling her blonde hair around her fingers like she’s better than them. As Alma herds them all towards the terminal exit, James shoves Tom into an absent-minded Penny, who stumbles into Katy. The kids almost topple onto the floor, but the twins and Penny balance on each other, so it’s only Katy who trips over her heels (four-inch heels at an _airport!_ Where the hell did she go so _wrong_?!) and falls.

 

The ensuing argument lasts all the way to the baggage carousel. She’s over splitting up fights, so Alma stands back and rubs her temple, praying for a miracle that will result in a week’s break from her kids. She loves them to death but four kids ranging from five to fifteen can be _infuriating,_ especially without Alex to help. Not that Katy listens to him, but Penny’s accepting of his new position in her life, and the twins are his anyways, so at least three of them would be better dealt with.

 

She’d never imagined being so grateful to spot her sister.

 

Next to Catalina is her wife, Doniya, and their son, Francisco. Though she is loath to admit it, Alma’s missed her sister since she moved to D.C. They’ve gone from spending hours together in their cramped San Diego apartment to living on opposite sides of the country. Plus, Doniya makes a _mean_ apple caramel tart, and she’s never gone more than a month without one before. (They’re seriously addicting and absolutely horrible for her waistline, but Alma’s too distracted by the treat to care whenever her sister-in-law comes for a visit.)

 

Catalina waves them over, grinning brightly. The diamond bracelet on her wrist glimmers in the dim airport light and Alma can’t stop a wave of jealousy from washing over her. Her sister deserves the world, but it’s not fair that she could _buy_ it, especially since most of their money is earned by her neurosurgeon wife. A Ph.D. doesn’t give Alma as big of a salary as she’d like, and Alex is a paramedic. With four kids, a mortgage, and a wedding to plan, this doesn’t leave much spending money for diamond earrings and trips to the Swiss Alps every month. Alma’s gotten here with years of hard work and dedication, while her sister got her undergrad and married a rich doctor.

 

But refusing a hug from her sister is blasphemy, so Alma allows herself to be enveloped by her sister’s waiting arms and pushes her jealousy aside. Now is not the time to bring up unresolved child anger.

 

“I’ve missed you,” Catalina whispers, squeezing slightly, and Alma never thought she’d be so happy to hear her native Spanish. Everyone back home is so _American_ , even for California, though she will admit that Pasadena is much better than Cambridge.

 

“I’ve missed you, too.”

 

She greets Doniya next, giving her sister-in-law a quick hug. They’re not awkward acquaintances anymore, but she wouldn’t say they’re particularly close. Apple caramel tarts only go so far in forming friendships. Francisco is excited to see her, tugging at the hem of her sweater, asking to be picked up. Ignoring her young nephew is impossible, so she grabs beneath his arms and hauls him onto his hip, groan not exaggerated.

 

“Now, let’s see the ring!” she exclaims, now in English for Doniya’s benefit. Her wife is fluent in three languages, but none are Spanish.

 

Horrible timing with Doniya’s job offer and the delivery of the ring meant Alex’s proposal took place three days after her sister moved to D.C., so she has yet to see the fine piece of jewelry occupying Alma’s finger. It’s nothing compared to Catalina’s, but Alma adores it anyways. Fancy diamonds are worth very little when it comes to spending the rest of her life with her true love. Plus, she did the gaudy ring with her first marriage, and that turned into a disaster. A simpler ring is a much better promise.

 

“It’s beautiful, Alma. I’m so happy for you.” Catalina smiles, kind and sincere.

 

“Thank you, Cat.” She blinks back a tear. Clearing her throat, she asks, “Now, where’s this supposed brother of mine you promised would meet us?”

Catalina opens her mouth to respond, but something over Alma’s shoulder catches her eye and her jaw snaps shut. Curious, Alma turns to see the big fuss.

 

It’s not a big fuss. Not really. A group of five - two adults and three kids - are headed their way, as expected.

 

“What happened to being here at noon?” Cat teases, poking at the man’s bicep as he stops in front of her. A toddler sits on his hip, sucking on a finger.

 

“Finn was being fussy,” he answers, bouncing the offending toddler slightly. This elicits a giggle from the young boy, and Alma finds herself smiling. Kids at that age are either adorable or demonic; there’s no in between. Katy and Penny were both angels, and the twins absolute devils. Nothing’s really changed since then, either.

 

Alma stands back as everyone else shares hugs and friendly greetings. Clearly, her sister is smitten with her new niece and nephews and wastes no time in bringing out small toys for each. The eldest - Lyra? Lyssa? Something ‘L’ - receives a plastic telescope, the middle - Sebastian? - gets a golden crown, complete with fake rubies and sapphires, and the youngest - Finn, she knows with certainty - is gifted a stuffed greyhound. It’s . . . oddly thoughtful of her sister. Catalina is a kind, caring woman, with a bleeding heart for orphans and foster kids especially, but she can also be selfish when it comes to money. It makes sense when Alma thinks about it, because they grew up with very little money and Catalina hoarding it all like some dragon is just her way of protecting her family, ensuring that they will always have a safety net.

 

She’s taken from her thoughts as Cat steps with the man - their brother - towards Alma, stopping in front of her.

 

“Alma, this is Cassian. Our brother.”

 

Although he’s older, with facial hair and weathered skin, his face lacking the baby fat she once knew, his eyes give him away. There is no doubting the look in his eyes. The same fire burns within, obvious even as a child, brighter now than before. It’s _him_.

 

Alma smiles. Throws her arms around his back. Squeezes. Ducks her head into his shoulder. Remembers.

 

He stumbles slightly from the force of the embrace but quickly places his hands on the small of her back. They’re calloused now, from years of hard work, not like the soft, tiny baby fingers he used to have. Maybe he plays guitar like their father or carves wood like his mother.

 

“Is it strange to have missed someone I barely remember?” she asks, and she can feel his shoulders shrug.

 

“I’ve heard stranger. And I missed you, too.”


	19. December 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and family take a visit to see Santa, and Sebastian surprises them all with his first word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short little thing partly inspired by me as a baby because my sister has been an avid talker since birth and I took a little longer to get there. 
> 
> just for reference, Lyra's about 3 1/4 and Sebastian's about 10 months.
> 
> also the stuff about babies and talking is pulled from the internet so if it doesn't make sense I apologize in advance. I know like, two things about babies.
> 
> (and yes okay this is technically a christmas fic in july but whatever it's cute and I wanted to write something.)

A baby's’ first word is meant to be an exciting time for parents. Their child is beginning to truly interact with the world around and their brains start to show proper cognitive function; Kes likes to joke that they’re finally becoming interesting. (Jyn will agree that there is some truth in that statement. There are only so many one-sided conversations she can stand before requiring mature human interaction.) When Lyra spoke for the first time, her first word being ‘bubba’, Jyn was ecstatic. It was a real milestone in her daughter’s life, like holding her head up and switching to solid food.

 

But with Sebastián, things are . . . different. Lyra was seven months when she first spoke, and she was stringing together simple, three, four, five word sentences before her second birthday. Talking came quite easily to the toddler, and it hasn’t stopped since. Bastián’s nearing ten months and still has yet to utter his first word. He’ll babble, but it’s lost on them as baby gibberish. The doctor says all babies develop differently and that bilingual babies typically take longer to speak. Lyra just happened to be an exception. 

 

Jyn isn’t worried. Not yet, at least. Two more months and she’ll take him to the doctor’s to see about a possible speech impediment. But for now, her focus is set on talking in clear and simple words that will, hopefully, prompt her son to copy her. (She also has a bet going with Cassian on whether he says ‘mama’ or ‘papa’ first, so she figures a little extra encouragement from his  _ mama  _ can’t hurt any.)

 

“Look at the pretty lights!” she exclaims one day, pointing to the towering tree in the mall’s open courtyard. Sebastián is sitting on her hip, enchanted by the sparkling Christmas decorations. “Your  _ mama  _ loves these lights. What about you? Do you love them like  _ mama _ ?”

 

“That’s cheating,” says Cassian, nudging her shoulder. They’re all standing in line for Santa, per Lyra’s demands, and Jyn figures with her time spent waiting, it couldn’t hurt to teach her son a few words. Like mama, for instance.

 

“I’m encouraging him,” she corrects, nudging him back. “Bet or not, he needs to learn.”

 

Cassian lays a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “He’ll be fine, Jyn. I was slow to start talking when I was young.”

 

He  _ does  _ have a point. Of them both, Bastián has shown more traits similar to Cassian than herself, and his speech could easily be another. At least, Jyn really hopes so. 

 

All thought of Bastián’s speech problems are forgotten when the rope at the front of the line is unhooked and Lyra runs up to Santa, tugging at Cassian’s arm. She sits with a flourish on the old man’s lap, already jabbering on about presents. “Santa” gives a hearty laugh and politely puts an end to her rambling by inviting Bastián to join them. 

 

“And what does this young fellow want for Christmas?”

 

Bastián reaches up and tugs at Santa’s beard with his slobbery fingers, eyes wide with curiosity. “Sana.”

 

Jyn freezes and looks to Cassian. “Was that -”

 

“Díos mio,” he whispers, staring in shock. “I think it was.”

 

“Our son’s first word was Santa.” She glances at the baby, whose fingers are tangled in Santa’s beard. He's silent now, staring up in wonder at the jolly man in red. 

 

“Ho, ho, ho. It's a Christmas miracle,” cheers Santa, bouncing his knee. Sebastián giggles but doesn't speak another word. 

 

“That was entirely underwhelming for a Christmas miracle,” Jyn sighs. She is happy, really, but Santa? Her son's first word couldn't have been anything else, like maybe ‘mama' or ‘papa’ or even ‘no’? “Well, thank you Mr. Claus, but we really must be going. Come on, Lyra.”

 

“Coming, mama!”

 

And because the universe has something against her, Sebastian lets out a squeal of “mama!” as Jyn herds them out of Santa’s village.

 

Just typical.


	20. November 2027

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for once, everyone's favorite couple finds out they're having a baby they actually planned for! who'd've thunk!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm not dead
> 
> it has been over eight months and I have no excuse except I got a job and it sucks and i'm in my last year of high school and it sucks and i've had no inspiration and it sucks
> 
> but here we are again
> 
> i am still a piece of trash, just with less energy to manage 27 000 words in six months. instead, you get 1136 or so in eight months.
> 
> hope this doesn't fuck anything else up cuz lord knows i've forgotten the timeline
> 
> also, for reference, Jyn is ~32, Cassian ~36, Lyra ~10, Sebastian ~7, and Finn ~3. i think.

Lyra was a surprise. An accident. An “oops” baby. Sebastián was slightly more intentional, though the time frame was most certainly not. Of their three children, Finn was the most “planned” if only because of the months spanning Cassian’s case and his official adoption. 

 

The biggest surprise of all, however, is the negative pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. Two kids, both unplanned, and another conceived in the same fashion by another woman, yet a fourth,  _ planned  _ child is still only a plan. How is it that the one time they are actively trying for a child is the one time she's  _ not  _ pregnant?

 

Jyn tries to hide her disappointment behind a hopeful smile, but Cassian reads the hurt in her eyes like a damn picture book. Ten years together will do that, she supposes. No secrets remain hidden for long between them, their gazes observing every move until the puzzle is pieced together. Better than knowing nothing, yet Jyn can't help wishing for a moment of privacy to collect her thoughts. 

 

“We can try again,” he promises with a trembling voice. His hand rubs circles over the small of her back, steady and soothing. She leans back, into his touch, and blinks away the tears. He said the same words last month, and the month before. 

 

Maybe they're not meant to have another child. Their three kids are beautiful and wonderful and evoke so much joy in their hearts. Lyra is a social butterfly, ready to follow in her Auntie Cat’s footsteps. Sebastián is quietly curious, reading and digging and questioning every hour of the day. And little Finn is still working out his place in the world, stepping out each day on sure feet and a giggle escaping his lips to explore with his big brother and sister. Jyn finds absolute joy in her three children and understands how lucky she is to have them. Having a fourth is no deal-breaker, no requirement, and if the universe is telling her to stop with Finn, then so she will. 

 

But she isn't quite ready to listen. Not yet. 

 

 

* * *

  
  
  


Another week passes, and the minor nausea, the cramps and bloating - they don't disappear. Funnily enough, her period doesn't appear either, though she remains oblivious to this fact due to excessive child-rearing. (Cassian departed for a conference and the kids all came down with the flu; Jyn had no time to use the damn bathroom for eight whole days.)

 

It's only when she notices the pregnancy tests beneath the counter as she's scrubbing every inch of the house do the pieces click into place. Jyn's not sure what the results will be, and mostly takes it for fun, if she's being honest. The idea is so absurd in her mind that she doesn't even register what she's done until the timer ticks down to zero.

 

Shouts and stampedes alert Jyn to the arrival of her husband, four hours early, and though she is desperate to greet him and speak to someone who doesn't still believe in Santa Claus, she finds herself curiously gazing at the plastic stick, feet planted firmly on the tile. Whatever the result, she'll greet Cassian with a grin of delight because a week without him is too much and he is worth so much more than this piece of plastic right now. 

 

(Her grin is, perhaps, wider than usual, cheeks aching as she exits the bathroom, the picture of that perfect pink plus-sign flashing every time she blinks.)

 

It’s another three hours before Jyn manages to pull her husband aside and share the delightful news with no kids lurking around the corner or begging him to play. Even then, Lyra interrupts their moment after five minutes with a complaint about her brother and it’s once again back to the exhausting task of child-rearing.

 

Hard to believe there’ll be a fourth come this time next year.

 

Guess it’s finally time they buy a minivan.

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

Jyn tosses and turns all night, plagued by doubts and insecurities about this baby. A fourth kid will be a lot, especially on their salaries and stress levels. And what if Finn thinks this baby is replacing him? Jyn knows that adopted children can sometimes struggle with their place in a family because people force the focus onto biological families too often, and he could easily assume that they’ve grown tired of him and want a new, DNA-sharing baby instead which is  _ absurd  _ when she thinks about it because he’s three years old and doesn’t even know what it means to be adopted. But what if that does happen, and not because he’s adopted but because he’s the youngest? Lyra was too young when Bastian came along to worry about being “replaced”, and they actually asked Bastian his opinion on being a big brother. 

 

What if a fourth child is just too much?

 

“Tell me what’s wrong,  _ mi vida _ .” Cassian’s voice interrupts her thoughts mid-spiral. The words are hoarsely whispered and slightly accented, a sure sign that he has just woken from a deep sleep, and Jyn would feel guilty for waking her exhausted husband if her mind weren’t in the middle of a crisis.

 

“What if this is a mistake? What if we’re not meant to have another kid?”

 

Cassian has a funny way of calming Jyn with a single touch; his hand on her back lifts a weight off her shoulders and soothes her mind. Ten years together will do that, she supposes. From the start, their connection was strong and it has continued to grow through pregnancies and weddings and career changes and adoptions. 

 

“There’s plenty of room in my heart, but don’t think, without this child, that it’s empty. I love you, Jyn, and I want you to be happy.”

 

“I  _ am  _ happy. Right now, with you and Lyra and Bastian and Finn, I am so incredibly happy, and I know that this child will only add to that. But what if it’s too much?”

 

The next hour is spent airing her concerns to her husband and listening to his reassurances. Money will be tight, Jyn argues, but baby showers exist for a reason, retorts Cassian. Childcare will be impossible to find, but the baby is due for the beginning of summer and her maternity leave will cover up until the end of October so they’ll be slightly older by the time a daycare is in order. They have no room for a fourth kid, but the garage can be renovated to create another two so everyone can have their own bedroom. 

 

“We’re going to fuck up a lot,” he says. “All parents do. But it will be alright, because we love our children, and in the end, that’s what they need more than anything.”

 

And somehow, those are the words that comfort her most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also yes I ended this pretty much the same way I ended the first chapter. not because i'm cheesy but because I honestly didn't know how to end it otherwise ://


End file.
